I'm in deep confusion,  I was married to this man for 18 yrs, had 4 children,  we both were in addiction... he went to prison for 3 yrs, I stayed loyal,  he comes home being a whole, I got sober while he was gone,  he came home and started where he left off, we were constantly fighting bcz I wanted better and he wanted freedom..so I left to find my spirituality and he became the town whore.. long story short, we were off n on the first 5 yrs into our separation..we would hang out or we'd call each other once in awhile, after the 5 yrs. We went total quiet for 3 yrs. In that 3 yrs he got sober and I hit him up out of the blue.. we've been back together ever since but we live 4 hrs away and only physically see each other every other month for 2 days,  we text every day,  some weeks he calls every day other weeks is maybe 2-3 calls. After we got back together for a yr in a half hw comes out as he's bi or maybe even say but he loves me and wants me, that I'm the only woman for him now (after being a whore) he says that he only wants to have a man if I'm in the room,  other than that he won't sleep with em and he's on gay apps but doesn't communicate with any.  My biggest down fall is that this man is the most MANLY man , he can handle a 15 on 1 fight and come out messing all of them up,  he's always wore my underwear when we were together before, I had no issue with it.. my issue is he's telling me this is who he is now and yet still is MANLY and I have no one to trust to talk to , I told him that I need time bcz I basically have to kill my idea of him and how I thought our new start would be ,I love him with every breath but I truly don't believe he loves me... am I hindering his new ID 🤔 does he really stay faithful? He's always been the cheater and I thought the new beginning with both of us sober would be US ,how do I move with this,  if anyone here relates or has any non judgemental advice I'd really like to know 🤔 thank you and sorry for it being so long.