OurPath Open Forum
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
If this does not apply to your topic, please find another forum.
* Opinions posted here, including that of the Administrator, are the poster's own and do not necessarily reflect the views or policies of OurPath.
* As a peer-to-peer network, any advice given is that of a peer, based on personal experience, and should not be considered professional in nature.
* Any discussion of LGBT related issues is acceptable provided it remains constructive and respectful of other viewpoints. Hateful, degrading, or prejudiced speech and/or personal attacks will not be tolerated.
NOTE: Due to recurring spam abuse, you must register to post.
1 of 1- Lostandconfused1234
- Member
Offline
How culture has changed.
I watched an episode of Roseanne today that was relevant to this forum. For those who don't know, it was a comedic TV show that ran in the late 80s through the 90s.
Roseanne and her sister went to a gay bar with their lesbian friend. During the night the lesbian friend's girlfriend kisses Roseanne. Roseanne approached her gay friend about it the next day because she was concerned about her cheating. However her friend already knew and was cool with. The end of the episode she tells her husband Dan (after "I'm not gay" sex), who is mad about it, until he finds out it's a woman. At which point he hints to it as fantasy of his. Then the episode ends and I guess they never talk about it again.
I looked at this from the lens of my experience and realized that back then the concept was a punchline. Now it's so real for so many people. Also it would've been so nice if in real life when when she disclosed, we could've laughed about it and the credits would roll and forget all about it. Now it's just a reality we both live with.
Anyway thats my rant. The good news is that it didn't trigger PTSD for me so I guess I'm healing.
- freedmyself
- Member
Offline
Re: How culture has changed.
Lost, it's funny/not funny that TV shows wrap things up in a neat little bow.
I recently re-watched the first episode of Friends, where the setup for Ross's character is that he's getting a divorce because his wife fell in love with a woman. Of course it's without nuance and I don't expect anything else - except there's a piece of me that resents it being played for humor. I know, I know - it's part of the human condition, trying to find humor in difficult situations. Still, it landed oddly for me.
- Blackie563
- Member
Offline
Re: How culture has changed.
Lostandconfused1234 wrote:
Anyway thats my rant. The good news is that it didn't trigger PTSD for me so I guess I'm healing.
There is no better sign that you are healing than not being triggered by such things. I can't tell you how many shows I watched in the past where I struggled with the anger....but that seems like a lifetime ago. The reality is, some people would like this situation. I didn't, not at all what I signed up for. Some fantasy's need to be just that, fantasy. Maybe I am just older (I'm really not, I am 46). Thanks for sharing, good reminder for how far we have come.
- walkbymyself
- Member
Offline
Re: How culture has changed.
I think that a lot of gay men still regard the straight wife as a punchline. I notice both of these episodes involved women in same sex relationships, which straight men often regard as a turn-on.
"Call Me By Your Name" gets me angry. Even though the mother/wife isn't made as a punchline, she's still portrayed as a vulnerable little child who is best protected by everyone -- even her own son -- keeping her in the dark about her husband's sexuality.
Relinquere fraudator, vitam lucrari.