Yes; as can be expected, they initially did not take it well. There were a lot of tears. Over time, they have come to accept our new family reality. My oldest (13) will have more pointed talks with me though. She is smart and has figured out that it is her mom that is choosing to end this relationship. C holds resentment toward our children (her words to me recently) and this comes out more often than she would probably admit in not taking a greater role in their lives. She is often absent in the evenings as she goes out with new friends in trying to develop her new community. I take both girls to church with me each week and they have found friends and community there but C is not involved at all. As C does not currently work, I pay for all things for them from activities to school items to food to medical. I coordinate their activities and rides to and from school each day as well. I have often found myself thinking solo parenting must be easier than this, as I am still doing all the work, but in random moments C will pop in with thoughts and opinions on how things should be but had not been present in anything prior by her own decision. Some days, I feel like there are three kids in the house; not everyday, but again, more than I probably want to admit.

Thank you Ellexoh_nz.  I have a hard time reconciling the image of C from her past life to who C is now. She is not a bad mom...just not a present one...at least not a consistent and stable presence.  This has fallen to me for my daughters.  I am happy to provide this for them but it wears on me and I know deep down my needs and wants are not being met. 

I see a lot of similarities to my sad story..  my GX had no job and was actively cheating on me.

Do whatever you need to do to build a support system and plan your future.   


My story is not sad now.   I thank God everyday for getting me away from the hurt and undeserved abuse.


We did nothing wrong but love them
.