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Lillian,
That your husband is involving the daughter is his affair as cover just seems sick and malevolent. Regardless of what he says his actions of not spending time with you tell you all you need to know.
They definitely turn our kids against us... hopefully in time your one kid anyway will see what is really going on and who you are.. You may have to ignore his hurt and try to act stable for your kid... I thank God I had antidepressants so I could appear normal for my kids while my GX was destroying me. Ourr kids may never know how strong our love for them is...we can only try to convey it in what we do (all while being abused).
Wishing your strength and fierce stoicism.