Thanks Blackie.  Lots of similarities aren't there.  At 42 I had no idea about gay in denial though. I had no idea he wasn't the nice person he seemed to be, I just knew I was hurting very badly and wanted to leave.  He said I could leave if I took nothing other than my clothes, left him with the house (we had paid off mortgage by that stage) and did not touch the bank account.

My self esteem was so through the floor I just accepted this and left.  Ended up crawling back to sleep on the sofa as in leaving I had also left my employment, we worked together.  It would be another 15 years before I realised he was gay and not the person he appeared to be at all.  omg.  

UK_,male yes I feel disgusted at these women too, not good mothers, not good wives, watch their husbands suffer and just turn the screw.  You've probably got some very tough yards ahead of you still.  Please remember there are still straight women who are not self-entitled and quite capable of loving their family to bits and I hope that is what happens next for you.