I'm not sure if this is the right place to be posting my story, but I've been dealing with this for 3 months and just found you guys.   Aside from my therapist, I haven't shared this with anyone (not really any close friends and it's not something you really share with your family)  Hoping it brings some relief to get it out there.

My wife of 23 yrs has been overweight our entire marriage.  Hasn't bothered me one bit, but it gave her terrible body image and self esteem issues that led to a pretty much non-existent sex life (dry spells measured in years) and terrible depression on her part.  At least that's what she'd told me was the cause, and what I'd always believed.   

In April of last year she checked herself into a treatment facility for binge eating disorder where she stayed for 3 months.  While there she made a "friend" (lesbian).  This friend was homeless, so my wife insisted that she come stay with us afterwards.   I was dead set against it, explaining that we'd just been separated for 3 months and I needed time alone with my wife.   After much arguing I finally relented when she explained that this friend meant so much to her and it was helping in her recovery. For 5 weeks they spent pretty much every waking hour together in our house, neither of them employed.  Interrupted only by the times I'd accuse her of emotionally cheating on me and we'd argue.   I became REALLY angry when she decided to go on vacation with this woman instead of my son and I.   She told me I was crazy to worry about anything going on while they were away for the weekend, because she wasn't a lesbian, duh!   I was told this on more than one occasion. 

This woman moves out in september and my wife travelled from CT to MA to visit a few times afterwards.  She still assured me, and I believed it, that they were just friends.   Then on november 2, she put my son to bed, sat down on the couch and told me she "couldn't do this anymore" and was moving out immediately.  After about 1/2 an hour of absolute confusion on my part it came out that she's rented an apartment and is going to be living with this woman upon leaving us.   And that yes, she had in fact cheated on me with her.   

My soon to be ex-wife has shown no emotion.  Literally not shed a single tear over ending a 25yr relationship.  My son and I see her once every week or two when she stops by.   Thankfully she wants nothing from me or the marriage other than to simply leave.

I never saw it coming to talk about with her beforehand, and we've not talked about it since that night.    I've had periods of not thinking about her, focusing instead on what a life with a loving, straight woman might look like.  But lately I've found myself stuck on the lack of closure.   I'll never understand how she could just leave not only me, but our son, our house, our life together.... to live with an unemployed, homeless, bulimic, drug addict.   She spent christmas in the hospital with this woman after she OD'd instead of with us.    It's just so hard to wrap my head around.

Thanks for letting me put that out in the ether.