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If I may suggest, visit a few resources you may have easily overlooked:
1 - Reality’s Last Stand website (it may open with a subscription option, which you can disregard) Lots of good data and analysis on trans and the false arguments surrounding it currently. It is an approachable website maintained by biologists that will help you understand what you may be dealing with and help you stay grounded in reality.
2 - affairrecovery.com - although not specifically for your situation (or mine) the tons of free resources on this site (videos, articles, online programs, etc) are really helpful for couples and individuals in working through these sorts of affairs (lying, abandonment, etc). Seriously!
3 - Read "This Is Your Brain on Birth Control: The Surprising Science of Women, Hormones, and the Law of Unintended Consequences" to see how your own interests in him may have changed due to your own hormonal cycle. The women I know who read it all said it was eye opening and really made them reconsider some things - to their benefit.
Good luck