OurPath Open Forum
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
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1 of 1- Gabs
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Is he gay?
Hi everyone,
I am waiting for my husband to come out as gay. So far he is saying he is bisexual, but I am altmost sure he is gay. We are married for 18 years and have 3 great children.
When we got married he was 33 and I was 22. Apparently I was his first girlfriend, he had some sexual experience with women and with a man. I knew since the begining he is bi, I was fine with it.
Later on I discover in computer history a lot of gayporn and he also admitted to me he was on gay video chat. I didn’t make a big deal out of it as he wasn’t cheating on me in real world.
When I was pregnant with our first child, I find in iPad nude pic he sent to someone… I was devastated, but I managed somehow. I found out he was writing erotic gay stories and published it on the internet.
Our sex life was poor - maybe once a mont, if I was lucky.
In april 2022 he asked me if I would mind if he has occasionally contact with men. That gave me mental breakdown and ended up on medication.
Since last year he is working in Berlin and I live with kids in another country.
Lately he had his ear pierced and tatoo done. I suggested to him open relationship, now he has prep and will get vaccination for hpv and hepatitis. He enjoys being in company of gay comunity, once a month he is attending AA meeting for gays. Despite of all this facts and more I didn’t mention, he keeps saying he is bi… Is anyone here with similar experience?
Sorry for the long post. I cannot wait for his coming out day. I want to move on with my life and find a good partner for me.
I am so happy I found a place where I can talk about this topic.
- Ellexoh_nz
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Re: Is he gay?
Welcome to our forum Gabs.
Why do you have to wait until he comes out gay before you improve your life?
Elle
KIA KAHA
- Gabs
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Re: Is he gay?
Hi Elle,
I want to have the relationship with him sorted and clarified. I am scared of a big family drama about leving him without a reason. I hope it makes sense.
G.
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Thread Starter- Alex1984
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Re: Is he gay?
So poor sex life, a forced open marriage that "gave you mental breakdown" and the continuous risk of STDs aren't strong enough reasons for your big family to justify you leaving him??? Giirrrrl... WTF?
Do you have a therapist? They can help you plan how to talk to him and the family.
Good luck! You got this!
- Ellexoh_nz
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Re: Is he gay?
Gabs wrote:
....... I am scared of a big family drama about leving him without a reason. I hope it makes sense.
G.
Gabs....you have to not be scared of drama. Especially with people who aren't being affected by the very selfish and dishonest things your husband is holding over you. He expects you to stay there in his closet with you until he is ready to come out. And that, as a straightspouse who found the strength to leave, is so wrong!
You need support, from somebody you can confide in and who won't betray your confidence. It's all well and good (and great 
) to have this Forum as a resource but to have somebody to talk face-to-face is necessary for your mental health going forward
E
KIA KAHA