My ex has a new female parter so she isn't "gay" which is why I am so confused

He asked me a few times "If I were gay" who would I turn gay for I would say "no one".... and then he would say  "If I were gay, I would turn gay for my best friend 'Mike' " (a friend he had had since high school)
'Mike' is single, has always been single, except he had one "very secretive" relationship.
Every year he likes to go on a holiday with 'Mike' and a couple of other friends.
Spending time with 'Mike' was always important.

One of our biggest arguments when we were married was (he is very artistic) when he wanted to make a "black penis" piece of art, to impress (a very attractive female who works in a industry dealing with bodily parts). I was jealous he was trying to impress her at the time. He didn't end up making it because I got so angry. But looking back on it, I think to make that, would require him to stare and observe it a lot. He told me he wanted to make it realistic, big, erect, with veins and balls and hairs. 

Another red flag was the occasional time we watched porn. He didn't like any scenes that just had a woman by herself, said that was boring. Every scene had a man in it, and often groups of people, so he would be watching two men. 

There were our own bedroom problems, he was very hot and cold on when he wanted it, had erectile dysfunction sometimes. Blamed me for being too keen. My brand new sexy underwear would sit unused in its shopping bag for months. Didn't feel he was attracted to me, something was missing. Very robotic. 

Finally he felt the need to tell me a couple of times about when he was a teenager and in a musical, an older gay man hit on him. Didn't elaborate.

His three favourtie actors who he thought were really attractive and thought had perfect bodies. Two played straight men but were gay in real life. The third is bisexual. 

He grew up extremely christian, his family would never approve of him being anything but straight.

I am very confused.

For reference my ex were married a while and have kids together (shared care) so he is still in my life.

Hoppyfrog

 

Last edited by hoppyfrog (July 28, 2024 12:05 am)