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July 1, 2024 5:58 am  #1


First gay experience “sexual assault”

Has anybody here experienced their partner opening up to them about a sexual experience with the same sex and called it sexual assault?

I’m still trying to work out if my partner is gay - I know a lot of you guys here have said it’s clearly undeniable and that I have a mountain of evidence.

But could someone be THAT* psychopathic to actually make up a scenario that would make people believe they could be gay, when in fact they were out cheating with the opposite sex. I’m not sure if that question even makes sense.

My story is in the topics to better understand my situation.

It’s been almost two years and I still cannot wrap my head around what’s happened and how my relationship has hit a wall.

I’m so lonely, tired and sad I just need answers.

 

August 4, 2024 12:16 am  #2


Re: First gay experience “sexual assault”

MJM017 wrote:

Hello Pinklady,

Your partner's claims could be true. It doesn't have any bearing on SSA though.

My late ex husband claimed his mother had molested him as a child. That's why he had a difficult time being  intimate with me after the marriage. He had a repressed memory come to the surface and didn't realize it until then. I believed him at first.

He told me 4 or 5 similar incidents with other adult women during his childhood when I was pulling away from him.  I stopped believing them. I am guessing these stories were meant to evoke pity from me to stay.

My ex always denied he was SSA and I don't believe he ever would admit it, unless he found a rich sugar daddy.  Most of these partners deny it if they love staying in their closets. Some never tell the truth.

Does he have any reasons not to admit it like disapproving parents and loss of an inheritance or living in a conservative area?

Yes his father is very homophobic and apparently used to go out “gay bashing” with his friends back in the day. One of the guys in the group that would do this was a suspected closet gay (so my partner told me) Him and his father fell out around 2 months before I suspected TGT - over 2 years now they have not spoken. I’ve never really believed the reason, that my parter shouted at him during an argument and so his dad cut him out of his life.
My partner mentioned one day that something must have happened whilst his dad was in the circus. I did wonder if he was referring to his dad maybe being a closet gay and something at the circus “made him that way”. 

My cousin is lesbian and my partner doesn’t have much nice things to say about her, actually he almost seems jealous. He also gets very frustrated sometimes when I mention trans.

His mother when I told her I think he could be gay (well because I caught him watching porn and he asked me “how do you know I weren’t watching a man?”) she very dramatically said WHAT?, NO WAY!

He says he doesn’t have any support, not even from his own mum and sister, but I feel different. I feel they know something I don't - they have become extra friendly towards me since this all started. Almost like they feel pity for me.

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