I'm sorry to see this result, Anon. How fruitless any words of mine are at this time. Doesn't mean I won't try. I got hosed during mine as well. I live in a no fault state, which means my ex could (and did do everything) she wanted and be rewarded by the state. Come home drunk and wake up the kids? Guardian never even looked into. Made agreement after agreement during mediation, but would then refuse to sign the papers. (took 5 times). The judge did not hold her to account one single time. 

Here is what I have learned. I can not change the past, or the 23 years I gave to a person who honestly hates themself, nor do I wish I could. My life, right now, is exactly as it should be. I believed that at my lowest point, why? Because I had no other choice because I needed to keep moving forward. Time does help. So does freedom. I don't need to see karma hit her, but I already know it has and will continue. Her miserable existence is her karma. Sounds like your exes as well. He may be smiling on the outside, "living his best life". Unless he is a complete sociopath, between "whatever he does to forget", he knows he did you wrong and will live with that all the days of his life. 

Mine drinks heavily to forget. (she never drank before). I can always tell when she sends me messages that are barely coherent and late at night (between 1030PM and 2AM). She is living her most miserable life and I do not take joy in it. I do take relief, as I no longer as a pawn in her game. 

One step in front of the other. You can do this, health issues and all. I know you can, because I/we are you!

What I find downright hilarious about this entire thing is that I was told that I need to communicate better.

Because the marital property has to be sold, I was told that I have to suck it up and communicate with him regarding the house. The only reason I stopped all contact with him, other than through a lawyer, was because he was unable to communicate without insulting me, yelling at me, or in some way hurting me, and I was so tired of his abuse.

And I get penalized for setting the boundary that I will not communicate with someone who abuses me *eye roll* Our society is really fucked up.

I know I will get through this. But I truly wonder what I ever did in life to deserve the past several years of my life....

So sorry.  If I want want somedays I can get bitter at all the money I must pay my GX..the law is definitely in the gay cheaters court. Sometimes I think they have a playbook they share.
But I remind myself that most days it is priceless to be away from the abuse and living with someone that all along was plotting against me.  Worth every penny.
   It this life and the next..I believe God is looking down and sees the difference between wrong and right.  I have no worries that I kept all my vows and all my promises.

Wishing you peace and strength as you move on from the evil incarnate on this earth.

Last edited by Rob (May 9, 2024 6:44 am)