Quick update Everything is very quiet. We don't talk about his sexuality much at all. Like, I actually have to make an effort to recognise it from time to time. Basically, a token "was there anyone hot at the gym" sometimes yields a response "oh yeah, there was this guy", but women are mentioned more often than men. We watched a few LGBTQ movies together and they didn't trigger me at all, unless there was an unaware straight spouse (like in "Firebird" - that one triggered me big time!).

I don't think he watches porn. I don’t mind, I even encourage it, but I don't think there's currently any need.

We haven't had any "special" play (iykyk), I swear, since Christmas. And I offered! The answer is always: nah, too much admin, let's just do it the "regular" way this time.

After disclosure, I thought I would never be the same. I started looking at men differently. At first, everyone seemed gay, then I was jealous of every hot guy. My sexual fantasies changed and started to include gay male sex. It was really spooky, I didn't recognise myself. It's amazing how all of it now seems in the past. It feels like I'm back to my normal self, just a little more tolerant.

Not sure how long the "quiet" life will last (I'm not even sure I want it to last too long), but I'm enjoying it for now.

We are monogamous. 

If you are struggling, my heart goes out to you, but know that things do get better! Just make sure you take care of yourself, protect your mental (and physical) health and reach out if you need support!

Lostandconfused1234 wrote:

Thanks for the update Alex. I'm glad to hear things are still going well. To add to your post, my wife and I are still together and things are quiet. I can appreciate the mundane lifestyle.

Thank you! And I'm glad things are going great with you guys! There are so many other issues in life (kids never seem to grow up, do they?), you don't want to be distracted by other noise.