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I found out about my GXHID in August. He admitted to cheating on me for over 30 years. He claimed to not be gay, but he was on Sniffies (a gay hook up site) almost daily. I put up with a lot, especially the last five years, and should have left years ago. I wasted years of my life trying to fix our marriage just to find out our troubles came from a big secret he kept from me. I’ve decided I’m not going to worry about forgiving him, I’m going to work on forgiving myself.
Our divorce was final last week. It wasn’t nearly as enlightening as I expected. Currently I’m working on learning who I am on my own and waiting for things to start falling into place. It is lonely and boring at times, but a lot less stressful and I’m learning to relax again.
I’m looking forward to what this year brings and even wonder what I will be like in a year. An older version of my single self from the 80s or someone completely different? I have no idea, but I’m starting to enjoy figuring it all out.