Hi there. I'm new. 

18 months ago my husband left after a pretty life changing event that occurred after several years of him hooking up with men he had met online "for physical release" (because I was rejecting him sexually). We have two daughters who were then age 6 and 8. The official line was that mummy and daddy didn't love each other any more but we both loved them, and we were friends. 

The marriage had clearly been dead for a while and we were both relieved. We are civil with each other for the sake of the children but I find it hard to process that I was lied to for years. I had several months of therapy to begin with which helped me and my own mental health fall out.

After he left, I was personally still reeling and tried to ask him questions about what had happened and how long it had been going on to help me process things, but he then clammed up about his sexuality saying he did not want to discuss it and didn't even know himself. I left him to it to be honest. I knew he was gay, if not bi, and it was only a matter of time before he accepted himself. 

In March last year I saw him in a car with a young man. I asked him about it and he admitted he was seeing someone. He lied about the person's age to start with. The young man is actually 27 years his junior. 

I told him I was happy he had moved on (I had by this point and my children had accepted my new boyfriend into their lives) and asked him if he would let me know when he was ready to tell the girls so we could be on the same page and perhaps do this together. 

My children have been seeing a lot of Daddy's "new best friend" and although it has been hard for me not to say anything to them, I respect his request not to tell them and to wait until he was ready. 

My children now 8 and 10 came back from his house last night and after about 30 mins they told me they "know about" Daddy's friend. I asked them what they meant and they told me Daddy had told them they were more than friends and were boyfriends. 

I feel blindsided by this. I was not told they were being told this weekend. This is typical behaviour from him unfortunately and so I can only now learn how best I can support them. 

No matter what SHOULD be the case, and I have been using very open language such as "I am sure Daddy will meet his person like I have met mine", it is inevitable that it will be harder for them to get their heads around Daddy being in a relationship with a man 27 years younger than him, than it is to accept Daddy getting a new girlfriend. 

I asked my youngest this morning how she was feeling and she told me that when he told them on Saturday, she got a funny feeling that started as tingles in her feet and then became a pain in her tummy. I hate this. 

I need to understand how I can be supportive to them both and try to understand how they must be feeling. He is not responding to me politely asking him what he has told them, however I don't want to put pressure on them to tell me. 

So I am somewhat feeling my way around in the dark on this one (a bit like during my marriage). Any help and support would be appreciated. Their mental health is my priority.

Many thanks