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If there is a facilitating Goldstar lesbian involved, many women will not actually believe that having sex with, or being in love them makes them a lesbian. I know three cases where the “flipped” wives vehemently deny that they are lesbians. In other cases, women who left their husbands to be with another woman, turn around at a later date to announce that they are not gay anymore and want to come back. I believe that in these cases, the wife has been in love or infatuated with an individual, but the actual lesbian identity is alien to them. When the magic spell wears off, there is no desire or need to seek out women in general. They wake up one morning in bed with an overbearing, tattooed, narcissistic, and or vain person in a house full of unopened jars. The thrill and excitement has gone. There is more actually missing over what they thought they had found. There is nothing you can do to prevent this from happening. The allure of love is stronger than an equally addictive drug. Each time they spend time with, or receive a simple message from this person they will get a hit. As long as she has the safety net of the marriage, she will believe that this can continue. Ask her to move in with the gay friend, to become who she really is. Tell the gay friend to have her, offer to take all of her stuff over to her place. See what happens. You don’t want to end up in some sort of is she, isn’t she limbo. You don’t need to accept this behaviour from her. You and your own mental health matters every bit as much as hers.
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Ordinary guy wrote:
,.....They are not telling you that they are a bit straight, they are telling you that they are a bit gay.....
My former partner referred to it as "it's only 5% of who I am"... but was never willing to admit how much the 5% affected the other 95.
Elle
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Hey John,
I read your story too. I had a very simiar thing happen to me about 4-5 years ago and have just connected with this network which is comforting and encouraging. I'm sorry to hear of your situation and my love and prayers go out to you and your family.
I'm so happy that you have a space like this to share your story among like minded people. It's kinda refreshing to hear as I've kept my situation to myself mostly.
Anyway, hope to keep in touch with this network to help with healing.