could this be because she has fallen in love with a woman do you think?

thefuture wrote:

…She still telling me she loves me…

I heard the same thing from my ex wife. She never stopped saying “I love you”. I came to the conclusion that we used the word love in different ways. I don’t think she was ever attracted or interested romantically in me. I think she did try very hard to love me in a romantic way. We had the picture perfect family, house, life, etc. But she loved me as a best friend. Only 2 years after separation I stopped using this word with her because in hindsight I starting seeing this as manipulation. She wasn’t lying, but she used this word as a cover.

TKU wrote:

The inevitable question is “trust”. Like how well you know each other, how confident you can be about what she’s thinking. Words doesn’t have meanings at this point, but actions and even “looks” have.

If you have serious doubts, about her, about what she’s been telling you, all I can recommend for you is to stand where you are with all you have.

Hi TKU, and thanks. The one thing that I hold onto, and with good reason I believe, is trust in my wife. I believe that she brought this issue to me in as sincere of a way as possible, before taking any actions to explore her new orientation. I am sure that she has hid and misled me with some of it, but I trust that she remains faithful to me.

In fact, I feel like one of our biggest problems is her labeling herself “gay” so automatically. She has never been with a woman (except small stuff in high school) and I believe her when she says that she’s always been attracted to me (although very recently she’s feeling less so). It basically makes sense to me that she would desire the experience of a woman since she has always identified as bisexual. But calling herself gay Carries a lot of weight and expectations and if I am being realistic I don’t think she is going to give up that word, whatever the truth is.

A “wife” or a “husband” means a lot to me. Seriously. A “spouse” should be the person that you can entrust your life to. At this point, if you have doubts, I think you should confront her about your feelings.

If you’re sure of your own feelings, if you’re not questioning yourself, you should make it clear what you expect from her.

Confrontation is frightening, but it’s a relatively easy way to reach certainty, which is what we’re searching for after all.

I concur with BlueBear word for word.       The stress and anxiety was deliberately to me. I needed medication to stop shaking with worry.  All caused by someone who said they loved me.      y 

My life now does not require medication.