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The other was also a spender but in moderation. I was the frugal one digging the other out of debt when we met. I taught the other how to save, avoid interest and negotiate deals to save. So when I say I DESERVE everything I got in that settlement I meant it. The other would not be in the financial position if I didn’t pay for an MBA and put my savings into the other career. My divorce statement was “I made you who you are and don’t you ever forget it”! It got really bad. You don’t know someone till you divorce them.
The other went on HRT within 2 months after telling me it would be at least a year. Again lies. Officially name change and out at work within 6 months. Spend money on clothes and electrolysis right away.
Please open your own account. Put money in when you can. Also if you start divorce proceedings you can get a judge to sign off on freezing the account till the divorce is complete due to the radically “pink” fog of trans happiness on spending spree.
I was and have been a shell myself. I can’t think or concentrate and don’t know what I need to snap out of it. We’re all in the same boat the spouse who never suspected and left holding pieces together bc we believed and loved as we should.
I have only repeated this story to a few of my closest friends but will never repeat it again. You will find your path and who you can lean on for support.
Two people I have leaned on I actually met through the local support group. We have become good friends.
If you need a friend, message me. I understand and hear you and feel your pain.
Take care.