OurPath Open Forum
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
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1 of 1- Pinklady
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Having a daughter….
Hi all
My story is on here somewhere some of you have probably had a read. My situation is not much better but I have a burning question that I hope some of you can answer or share similar experiences.
Hubby claims his “depression” began just after our daughter was born in august 2019. He says I was too occupied with our two children and he didn’t feel loved.
So my question is do these gay in denial husbands closet become harder to hide in once they have a daughter? Something relating to the fact they’ve used a woman and now they’re looking at their daughter and feeling huge amounts of guilt - because WE are also somebody’s daughter.
Just wondered if anyone has noticed this? I just can’t fathom why he would become depressed once our daughter was born and then proceed to make me feel unwanted because “I was too occupied with our children”
Thanks guys I hope you’re all well xx
- lily
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Re: Having a daughter….
I remember saying about my marriage that it was like being henpecked by an industrial strength chicken.
And I wonder if it's something to do with that - he wants to be the alpha female. One gay husband I know responded to the birth of his daughter by insisting his wife wasn't up to it and he had to take her place as mother.
- Ellexoh_nz
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Re: Having a daughter….
Pinklady wrote:
So my question is do these gay in denial husbands closet become harder to hide in once they have a daughter?
.........I just can’t fathom why he would become depressed once our daughter was born and then proceed to make me feel unwanted because “I was too occupied with our children”
Some men will say anything to take the spotlight off themselves and shine it on the women who they know will probably take on and absorb the responsibility for an issue that has nothing to do with her and has everything to do with him.
Trying to climb into the mind of a gay/bisexual man to find out how he thinks....ew yuck, no thanks!
Elle
KIA KAHA
- MJM017
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Re: Having a daughter….
Pinklady,
A cute and precious baby girl will never be the cause of anyone's depression. They are perfection.
If I may say, your h is stooping kind of low to deflect blame for knowingly marrying a straight partner. He's throwing you and your daughter under the bus.
I'm a daddy's girl and I don't know where I'd be if my father didn't help me get out of my doomed marriage. Your sweet daughter deserves the same!
No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa
- Anon42
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Re: Having a daughter….
Not sure if this helps, but my wife claims that she became depressed after our second son's birth (9 years ago) and she came out of that depression just recently by realizing that she's a lesbian, and wants to date women.
- Grace1958
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Re: Having a daughter….
My first husband, father of my daughters, came out to only me as gay when the second one was about 18 months old. We stayed together for 8 more years and after the divorce he spent almost no time with his girls. He said he was happy we had daughters because he wouldn't know how to parent a boy - hates sports, etc. But he never took the time to get to know his girls either. But then he also never took the time to know me as his wife. I feel it's entirely possible that some men, regardless of orientation simply do not understand females and especially small child females. I'm not trying to give yours an out but I don't think this is an orientation thing. I think this is just a some guys thing. And that nonsense about you being too occupied? Whatever. Dude needs to get over himself.