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February 24, 2023 7:19 pm  #1

Live Trans Virtual Sex

I walked in on my husband of 7 years yesterday sitting in front of his desk with one computer facing down towards his naked crotch with a live video going, and the other monitor broadcasting a Trans female cam model. I was previously unfamiliar with this type of platform that allows mutual broadcasting of sex acts in a live and participator chat + video mutual masturbation experience.

He has never expressed any interest in men of trans women before, or porn at all. I am open to porn, but to me this "live sex" experience crossed a line. I also learned that he has spent more than 500$ (this year alone) sending "tips" to these strangers (he is usually very frugal and complained about spending 150$ on a nice dinner once a year for our anniversary). This means he has spent thousands of dollars on these "women" over the course of our marriage. 

My main concern is 1) is he homosexual or wanting to transition? He said he never watches "gay porn" but he admitted that the reason why he likes trans porn is that it is when the person has a penis, it is easier to see how the person is visibly turned in response to watching him. Being turned on by seeing a hard penis, seems to be, like a trait of a gay man or a straight woman, is it not? He also admittedtted that he has been watching trans porn for over 10 years, since he was in grad school, which brings us to around 2013. Was trans porn even available back then? I'm sorry to sound naive, but it seems to me that one would have had to actively search out that kind of material back then, where as now it is accessible on regular "straight" porn sites. 

In case it helps with understanding my husband and his challenges -- in terms of his intimacy with me, it never has involved masturbation. He refuses to do it in front of me, he doesn't like head or blow jobs, our sex feels very transactional, not looking at one another, traditional positions, etc... He said he visits these sites 6-8 times a month, for the past 14 years, this is far more times than we ever had sex. In the last two years, we might have had sex once every 4-5 months, despite me being attractive and available and initiating sex often. He would often says he's too tired or not in the mood. It is clear to me that he never tried to cultivate any sexual intimacy or eroticism with me because he was fulfilled from the screen and therefore my sex life has suffered. 

I loved this man, I have a family with him, and I'm pregnant with twins, so I don't have time to wait around for answers. How can I get to the bottom of this? Is there any hope for our marriage?


February 24, 2023 8:49 pm  #2

Re: Live Trans Virtual Sex

I'm so sorry this happened to you, especially when pregnant. It's the worst shock at the worst time.

I know your husband is not straight and this is cheating.  He does sound very interested in transwomen pre-surgery. My ex-h was gay and he was enamored with transwoman with male parts too. He had zero interest in me. He refused to masturbate in front of me.

Emotional support is very important, much so now that you're pregnant. You and your babies to be come first.

I would reach out to trusted friends and family to tell them and lean on them. Reach out to a therapist or counselor.  Our Path has a support contact number to call and a volunteer will phone back to speak to you.


Some people stay in these marriages and some leave. Listen to your inner voice about what you want to do. My inner voice said end the marriage and that's what I did.

PS Online porn of straight people and other preferences was online in 2013.

No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa 

February 25, 2023 9:26 pm  #3

Re: Live Trans Virtual Sex

Hi MJM thanks for your reply and I’m sorry that you had to deal with something similar. I just can’t seem to shake the contradiction of him saying “it’s just about masturbating and a bad habit,” and the fact that I discovered Male for Trans Women sex ads and chats all over his email, not to mention the live sex porn and vulgar chats about “cocks”.

I would really love to hear from more forum members who have encountered “straight men” who are into trans stuff.

Thanks all!

     Thread Starter

February 2, 2024 11:47 am  #4

Re: Live Trans Virtual Sex

My husband loves trannies. Sorry if anyone finds the term offensive but I find that my husband being attracted to them offensive. When I discovered his internet history, it was nothing BUT trans porn. I was so hurt. I never knew. I also found various sex toys NEVER used with me. I found this huge anal dildo it had been used. I also found his toy cleaner that had shit on it. Penis pumps, vaginal masturbation toy, trans porn dvds hidden in our closet. I asked him how in the hell if he were straight could he see a penis and not be turned off by it. His answer was even more telling. I don't see them as men. They are women to me. They are beautiful and look like women. I said don't get it twisted. They ALL HAVE COCK AND BALLS WHICH MAKE THEM MEN NO MATTER HOW YOU WANT TO SPIN IT. IM NOT STUPID.


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