I don't think we're going to get the chance to settle back down and enjoy the natural phenomenon of a rainbow ever again at this rate.

Personally I am feeling super triggered at the moment because I am so familiar with the rainbow serpent.  And yes it is symbolic of all of us.  So now it has been used as the first float in the world wide gay pride parade with the aborigine gay women saying it means all of us.  Unfortunately of course that now comes to mean all of the LGBTQI+ group.  

To use it to symbolise gay pride is to monopolise it - as if straights have fallen off the back of life.

Last edited by lily (February 28, 2023 4:51 pm)

Anon2222 wrote:

Ellexoh_nz wrote:

True wrote:

..... 

True.... The word "rainbow" in your post might not be the most mindful word to use in a Forum full of straightspouses who've been damaged by people who use rainbows as their flag

Elle
 

Ok, I had to laugh at this. I actually have PTSD symptoms when I see the stupid rainbow anything now. I didn't know it was possible to hate a bloody rainbow. But I absolutely cannot deal with the site of anything rainbow right now. So, I am hoping that trigger will settle down over time....

I relate to that so much. Anytime I see one right now my chest gets tight. That's so frustrating! I don't even have anything against them. It's the association with someone who's ripped my heart out.

We'll get past it. No way is this going to be my forever state. It won't be for you either!
 

So. I met with a lawyer today. And it was an incredibly depressing experience.

I can't say I'm surprised I guess. After doing research into it I kinda figured I'd be screwed...and the lawyer confirmed as much.

Apparently where I am, women without children are treated incredibly poorly in the divorce process. Long story short, I'm not entitled to really anything and technically as it stands I will owe him money. Also, the current divorce process is taking 3+ years. During this time, I have to disclose all my financial information etc to him (and vice versa). It sounds like an incredibly horrific and complicated process and I am even more overwhelmed than before. So...woo...

That, sadly, did not make me feel any better and confirmed that I have years of hell ahead. The lawyer did say that if it becomes contentious he has seen it take up to 8 years for the divorce to go through. Guess I'm just gonna be wasting more years of my life *eye roll*

So. Because there is absolutely nothing I can do and I have absolutely no control over my life....I have decided to attempt to take the stance of just not caring. He continues to have all the power (my lawyer said a lot of the judges are quite misogynistic and tend to side with the man. Also, spousal support here is next to impossible to get as women are expected to "step up and get a job". 

So. Gonna go zone out with my pets and just ignore life. The lawyer did inform me that he can also lay claim to my animals if he chooses to be a prick.... 

I learned my lesson. I am never getting married again. 

I interviewed 5 attorneys before I selected one.  Being a lawyer is more an art than a science. Some are paint by numbers and some are Picasso.  Your stbx did not follow the traditional route for leaving the marriage either.

Anon, is there a support group for the separated and divorced in your area?  There's strength in numbers.

Anon2222 wrote:

...He was saying it's actually quite disgusting what has happened to the divorce laws here.

 
"he"...? A male lawyer?

I didn't even entertain the thought of a male lawyer.

As Mj said I reckon you should look for a divorce & separation group. Strength and support in numbers

E