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February 17, 2023 1:24 pm  #11


Re: Two Years Too Much

Sorry this happened to you.  You deserve a loving partner. This person is not it. Am hoping you see a lawyer to find out your legal and financial rights in this marriage.

My late GIDXH was not a loving partner.  He used me in every way. It was really difficult to leave but am very glad I did.


No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa 
 

March 18, 2023 2:35 pm  #12


Re: Two Years Too Much

I kicked my husband out for the second time today. I found text messages between himself and a 70-year old female Walmart employee somewhere in the midwest that he called "mommy", messages with a gay guy who he called "daddy" and messages to a german girl of a sexual nature too. This entire time he was using me as a cover for his closet-homosexuality, mommy fetish shame, bdsm kinks, etc. He was never honest with me or disclosed any of this to me.I am just glad that I finally know the truth. Still though, I'm in a rough spot. I have 2000 EUROS to my name and I don't know where to go.My plans are to pack my belongings in the next few weeks, wait for my passport to be renewed and buy a plane ticket somewhere and try to start my life over again.I was shaking and crying and in total shock today. Some of the things he wrote were so vicious and cruel about how he is sick of women and how he felt used. All lies. He is truly a sick sociopath. He did give me some good memories...but it's all over now.I need to figure a way out of Germany now. I want to move back to Madrid.

     Thread Starter
 

April 22, 2023 3:18 am  #13


Re: Two Years Too Much

I received some text messages from my ex's "girl" yesterday. I'm assuming it's the 70-year old female age play partner from Fortworth Texas or her friend because I received messages from two different phone numbers. She wrote, "You seem like a pretty immature I’ll mannered young upstart." and the other one wrote: "If he's gay like u said he is how did u become his wife??? Are u the female in the relationship (but actually a man)?" and "Lmao ur scared." I tried to be nice, I tried to warn the people I caught him texting to...but his gay lover in Singapore wrote "go away" and the girl in German wrote "Let me him peace have nothing to do with your quarrel. I know him he was never so where I had contact with him sorry". I admit I shouldn't have contacted any of them, but, I'm still searching for the truth and what the hell happened you know? My ex has never admitted anything, I had to find out by reading his messages instead. People are so stupid. 

     Thread Starter
 

April 22, 2023 9:35 am  #14


Re: Two Years Too Much

While every situation is different, you may need to come to the realization that you will never know the actual truth. Any closure you are seeking needs to come in the form of: the disrespect you've faced, the emotional manipulation, the lying, thats all the closure you need. Most of these folks I have read about (and my own situation) these folks lie like we breath. They can't help it, they are too selfish to think about anyone else and lying keeps the story going. Mine ex wife initially did not tell anyone about her new gf, but realizing that she would gain sympathy by saying that, she started telling people. The problem? She still searches for and sleeps with men. (as far as her online profile under a different name states). 

It's hard, but close that door. The faster you walk away the sooner you can begin healing

 

April 22, 2023 12:03 pm  #15


Re: Two Years Too Much

Birds of a feather flock together. Block the number and report it as spam.

Get this less than stellar ex of yours out of your mind.  It may take time to do. The best outcome is a wonderful life full of honest, loving relationships.


No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa 
 

April 30, 2023 11:44 am  #16


Re: Two Years Too Much

I've been struggling with wanting to text my ex's mother and tell here that her son is gay. Should I do it? She is a Christian evangelical, she adopted two boys. The other boy already came out as gay years ago and she had a hard time accepting him. But she's always made me feel like she wanted to know why her other son (my eX) was strange. I feel like telling her the truth. Could this backfire on me in anyway?

     Thread Starter
 

April 30, 2023 1:11 pm  #17


Re: Two Years Too Much

My recommendation would be that you stop engaging with  the past and focus instead on the present. Block anyone who tries to pull you back into it and don't try to explain the situation to his mother or anyone else. It's over.. Savor that!.


Try Gardening. It'll keep you grounded.
 

April 30, 2023 2:03 pm  #18


Re: Two Years Too Much

chelhell wrote:

I've been struggling with wanting to text my ex's mother and tell here that her son is gay....

I'll bet you she knows already. 

E
 


KIA KAHA                       
 

April 30, 2023 2:59 pm  #19


Re: Two Years Too Much

Yes, it can backfire. Work on getting past taking revenge.  Revenge won't hurt him; it will hurt you.

Last edited by MJM017 (April 30, 2023 2:59 pm)


No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa 
 

May 1, 2023 7:09 am  #20


Re: Two Years Too Much

chelhell,

Texting his mom would make you feel better for a about 5 minutes but is a form of contact when he and she will harass you..   I advise no contact.   It only gets you more hurt.

Should him mom contact you and ask...that is a different matter.    


"For we walk by faith, not by sight .."  2Corinthians 5:7
 

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