Hey there,

Fellow member of the "I should buy stock in Kleenex" club.  I have cried more in my life than I thought possible.  But one thing that I've done for myself that I feel like is helping is to journal.  I go to a coffee shop with my noise cancelling headphones, put on a sad/sappy station on Pandora, and I write.  I love your idea of writing to yourself.  In fact, I think we both should do something.  We should write a letter to ourselves dated for one year from today.  In that letter, put all of your hopes and dreams.  And then one year from whenever you wrote it, open that letter and read it.  Hopefully, we will see how far we have come.

Another thing that has helped has been a book I just picked up.  It is called "Getting Past Your Breakup:  How to turn a devastating loss into the best thing that ever happened to you" by Susan J. Elliott.  I'm not a huge self-help book kind of person, but I like how this one is laid out.

Also, finding this board has been a blessing.  No one really understands what it is like to go through this until you do go through this.  I think others have the best intentions, but I have found that often times I end up hurt because of them doing something that they think is just being kind.

Hang in there.  Lean on people.  I'm hoping that what others say is true--that this will get better with time.

These are all great ideas! I am also grateful for this Forum. The mind games my GID husband played would have kept me in limbo, unhappy, and ignoring my true wants if I didn't see the patterns based on the stories in this forum.