It's been a month and a half since I moved cities, and I've had ups and downs.....mostly though I've made myself 
not think too much about what I've left but today I enrolled with a new doctor and was told the cost of a visit......so I'll be doing a lot of proactive health-work lol

My son and his girlfriend have gone away for 2 days/nights so this weekend I'm on my own (with 2 cats). Going out tomorrow, but Sunday may be a bit quiet. I feel very alone.

My feet hurt! I'm walking so much (arthritis in my feet)

I know this is just an emotional "1 step forward/2 steps back" thing and it won't last but....yeah, just needed to say it somewhere

E

*hugs* The whole process is a 2 steps forward, 1 step back, I swear. I am also just lonely a lot. And trying to get used to being my own company. I listen to a lot of audiobooks. Keep fighting the good fight!

I feel alone, too, especially today. After getting out of a 26 year marriage in 2016 to a lying, abusive cxd/trans-wanna-be, in 2018 I met an amazing man who showed me what abundance could look like in a relationship. We were together almost five years. And he just broke it off last evening. It’s not his fault and I’m not angry. I’m just deep in the throes of a new grief. He has had and has Parkinson’s disease—I’m so sad—a complicated, chronic and degenerative neurologic disease that is getting the better of him. There are non-motor impacts that are changing his personality and his world is shrinking while mine continues to expand. I know he loves me. I’m doing okay —I’m just feeling profound grief. I think I did allow myself to see a future together even though the odds were totally against us. Being in the world feels so different today because he’s not “out there” for me any more. I learned so much about myself in that journey out of a marriage full of deprivation and dishonesty. So I know I’ll be okay,  and that I’m never really alone. There is so much love and beauty around me all the time and I have to keep my heart and eyes  open  to experience it. You all taught me that. As much as I’m hurting now, I wouldn't trade the last 4.7 years for anything. . ❤️🙏🏾☀️🌷

E, I’m 63! It’s never too late, in my opinion. And by the way, my current sweetheart and I talked ALOT over the weekend and have found a path forward, rather than chuck  the whole “thing” until such time as he has to move in with his son out of state. (We do not co-habitate.) Trying to keep our lives in today.

Reconciliation?     What does that mean?   You have to reconcile yourself to exactly what...more hurt, anxiety, or wondering what he is up to or if you are good enough.        Sounds like he's getting lonely and doesn't think he did anything wrong.   

I think as you look back maybe it was financially easy sure, but when I look back I now see how hard my GX made ordinary life....if there was not drama she created it out of thin air to make life harder than it ever should have been.   

Your reply was kind hearted showing the person that you are.

Last edited by Rob (August 9, 2023 7:29 pm)