Elle I’ve been reading your thread and I can’t imagine the journey you’ve been through to get to this point. I was disclosed to 4 months ago and it’s been so tough navigating the seperation and custody issues. I hope things are going as smoothly as possible in this extraordinary circumstance you find yourself in. Nice to see another Kiwi in the forum and know there’s others out there going through the same/similar ♥️

Well..!!!
An email from my lawyer came last night....saying that she'd had no response to the email she'd sent to A (on March 15!!!) about the separation. He hasn't said one fucking word to me about it. He knows I intend moving out, seems all fine with the fact but it's like he feels it's not relevant to him ~!@#$%^

Every email the lawyer sends to me costs me money. Every email she has to send to him on my behalf costs me. I'm so pissed off.

I've mentioned before my reluctance to engage with him face to face and thought doing all this by email would be handy for a man who doesn't like to face things, **and it's doubly ridiculous that we're living in the same house ffs!!!!!! **
 
Because all this is costing money (and he has plenty to spare whereas I'm trying to do this on the few thousand of my own I have tucked away) I'm thinking "is he planning something, waiting til I have left?" I don't know...grrr

There is a community lawyer (no cost) I can see today so I hope I can get some advice.
Apart from the legal hold-up everything seems to be tracking well for my move

Edited to say.....the community law session seemed to be a lot of older people wanting to discuss Power of Attourneys and Wills so I didn't get to ask questions. Never mind....sigh 
I emailed my lawyer and told her "email him again" 

E

Last edited by Ellexoh_nz (April 18, 2023 10:14 pm)

Ellexoh_nz wrote:

Well..!!!
An email from my lawyer came last night....saying that she'd had no response to the email she'd sent to A (on March 15!!!) about the separation. He hasn't said one fucking word to me about it. He knows I intend moving out, seems all fine with the fact but it's like he feels it's not relevant to him ~!@#$%^

Every email the lawyer sends to me costs me money. Every email she has to send to him on my behalf costs me. I'm so pissed off.

I've mentioned before my reluctance to engage with him face to face and thought doing all this by email would be handy for a man who doesn't like to face things, **and it's doubly ridiculous that we're living in the same house ffs!!!!!! **
 

This has been my experience. She moved out of the bedroom in August last year, never stayed in the house when I was there since December and we moved into separate homes in March. Think she has signed the papers yet?? Nope. She won't do it and now wants a clause to revisit MY income every year so she can get more as I make more. Not enough to have an affair, lie about it, tell people you're gay for sympathy, while fucking men and having online profiles exclusively looking for men, while pushing her new gf on the kids on the very first day we moved into separate homes. Yeah, these people are disgusting in their behavior and only care of themselves, no one else. I'd say buckle up, it's going to be a long ride. I thought I was done but she went 5+ weeks with no response and only recently responded. I gave her until tomorrow or the entire deal is off and we go to court. Lots more money for both of us and about another 1-1.5 years. She simply doesn't care, its the only way she can keep me around, despite all she has done. 

Blackie563 wrote:

.... 

 
A. will not want all this...a separation and exposure that all was not well between us. And his answer.... to bury his head in the sand....is typical. He's such an intelligent man but in this he's just hopeless

OOHC wrote:

....

You're probably...no, you are right. I will
have to prepare for the conversation though, it's not something I want to do

Elle

MJM017 wrote:

Maybe it's just me but foot dragging is manipulative while appearing not to be. I found it to be a balancing act to keep my moral values intact while leaving an abusive and dishonest partner.

I agree completely. It's a way to prolong things and keep a hold of their "old life" until they are ready to move on publicly in their new life. It's truly pathetic. No consideration for all of the damage they are doing to others who are simply trying to move on with their lives.