My comments in red. Welcome to our Forum Ksue..

ksue wrote:

I'm brand new to this group, thanks to having had the discussion yesterday with my partner of nine years that he is coming out. Many of us have husbands/partners who never come out. I'm a little jealous lol because honesty is gold. 
I am not shocked, but I am surprised, if that makes any sense. We stopped our sexual relationship after I went to menopause about six years ago, but have cohabitated and been through a lot together, including my processing childhood trauma, his development of a post-brain injury seizure disorder, and his treatment of prostate cancer.
I have helped support him financially as long as we've lived together as I believe in the "sliding scale" model of partnership. No sex in our r'ship either... at my insistence, but we still live together too. I'm 64, have a chronic illness  (Crohns) that he has always been there for me (together 38 years) We're making it work.
We have a lease on a rental through June of next year. Luckily we have a second bedroom and am creating my own sleeping space. We have separate bedrooms too. It's great.
I am shaky, unable to concentrate, confused and scared. And given that I am a very independent and private person, I am terrified regarding next steps. Confusion and fear are part of the initial journey but you will get through this. Independence is good but privacy will only get you so far. I'm not meaning shouting this from the rooftops but you won't get through the Mindfuck without people you trust beside you and aware of your situation.
Just needed a place to write this down.... Very thankful to have found this forum. I will certainly pay forward any words of comfort offered to me at this incredibly fragile time.

We're hear to listen
Elle
 

Ksue - Welcome to the group that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy lol! However, I'm glad we have a place to vent! 
 
I'm glad your partner came out to you. Many of us will never have this luxury! I joined this group about a year ago. I dealt with questioning my husband's sexuality since 2019 when his new 'friends' entered our lives. The most important part is my husband is so manipulative that I kept our issues and problems to myself until 4 months ago when I finally confided in a mutual friend of ours! I told her everything (even the parts I am ashamed of). Confiding in someone I trust liberated me to focus on my needs and desires. I also have a therapist to help center my thoughts. 

Wishing the best for you as you begin your journey. We are here to listen.