TiredofDLMen wrote:

... I usually meet these men online but I’ve also had this issue with offline men too..., .

 
Tired.... I'm 64, all the boys/men/males I met in my 20s I got to know face to face, through parties, or friends, or dances.
I think the internet has ruined true romance and friendship so much that now even meeting somebody offline is tinged with the same 'casualness' so that people are moving too fast, jumping into bed too soon and not taking things slow enough to get a good idea about who they're dating.

It's your perception skills you'll have to sharpen and not be in such a hurry to think every man is Mr Right

Elle

First I want to say congrats for finding out the truth of these gay in denial men sooner rather than later - double congrats on testing him out.  

My personal opinion is that there are more gay in denial than straight people, it doesn't appear that way because they aren't admitting to it - oh we're all straight but the truth of it is no we're not.  In my experience a bisexual always has  same sex orientation underneath the 'I have a choice, I sleep with both sexes' currency.  Bi now gay later as the saying goes.

And here's more bad news - where are the straight men?  married to gay in denial women.  There seems to be a thing, the best straights get hoovered up by the bi crew.  I fell for it myself and I still don't really understand why it is but maybe it's as simple as this - they aren't hampered by romantic sexual feelings and find it easy to approach you while the fab straight guy is still hanging back overwhelmed by the feelings.  Thinking about it, remembering my teenage years if I was interested in a guy he would run away - at the time I thought he doesn't like me but now I think maybe he did.  I also remember how there were quite a lot of guys if I looked at them they would have a highly dismissive response and I think they would be the gay ones.  I can remember a straight man a few year older than me approaching me but he still couldn't look me in the eye.  Finally it was the bisexual 23 year old who approached 19 year old me in a friendly seeming way.  Eventually at 57 years old I found out about the gay in denial / bisexual thing.

Look I think you should be proud of yourself for working it out sooner rather than later, that is what helps you regain your self esteem - being admired by a man, not believing a gay in denial man's dismissal is all you can expect in person - it's not anything you're doing wrong, all it's saying about you is that they think you are nice enough to put up with them - keep tossing them to the kerb, and hopefully the next thing that happens is you connect up with a straight guy who is just the ticket.