Disney isn't real. I think you should focus on your last sentence. Even if he did come crawling back, why open the door? He's proved he can cast you off so easily, what's to stop it from happening again? I think that means he was never committed, except as a 'for now' kind of deal. You deserve better.

Hi Anon,
I am so sorry you are having to deal with this.  It's so hard to feel discarded.  I don't know if he is excited to get away from you, but, rather, in my opinion, he isn't thinking about you at all.  He isn't considering  your hurt, pain, needs, etc.  It's all about him at the moment.  He is also living in fantasy land.  I suspect HE thinks his life will have a Disney-type ending.  Reality could very well hit him hard.  You may want to consider what you would do if he did want to come back.  I would think long and hard before letting him do that if I were you.  I truly doubt he would be coming back because he wants to be with you.  He may just want the safety and security while he nursed his wounds.  But, he has already proven who he is and how he would treat you, as Daryl said.  Maybe he won't look back either.  That is also very devastating.  I feel  your pain.  You definitely deserve better.
 

Thanks everyone! 

Not to worry, I am getting better at doing me! I'm just struggling with it lately. I have chronic depression and I've been in a funk. I hate it. It's something I've always lived with....but this whole thing has really thrown it into a tail spin. 

I also can't do the limbo anymore. The longer it drags on, the more mixed up I get. 

But I am doing something solely for me right now. I have wanted to adopt a cat for years. He didn't. So we never got a cat. So I've decided to bite the bullet.

I am meeting several cats from a rescue to see if any of them would be a fit. I'm terrified to do it, because my life is in chaos and I don't know the future. But, I've made the decision that I'm going to adopt a senior cat who fell on hard times. According to the rescue, no one is lining up for these cats...so I figure I can give one a loving home for whatever time it has left. I'm going to go see a 13 year old girl this week.

I appreciate everyone's support on this page. It has been very helpful. Hard to believe there's so many of us in the same boat.

Blackie563 wrote:

Found out last night, she doesnt think it will work with the other woman, which makes sense of why she has been opening up a bit lately....backup plan.

Backup plan.

While she likely always knew she was gay and never bothered to tell you, she is not certain how to go about actually living this way.  She is likely counting on you to always love her unconditionally anyway, like a captive with Stockholm syndrome.

But don’t gloat.  Just get away.

Have you heard of a uhaul lesbian? 

When my ex moved on with my colleague, a young lesbian girl watching this scenario told me about uhaul lesbians - the joke is they will bring a uhaul full of their stuff on the 2nd date.

Your wife WILL likely move on and do so shockingly quickly.  But in the meantime, it isn’t a surprise she is still figuring out how and planning to string you along just in case.  Ugh.  You, her husband, have probably always been her backup plan.

That’s what my relationship felt like.

I feel afraid of being taken advantage of by a new man in my life. The gay part of my late GIDXH was a minor issue. His cruel behavior & parasitic lifestyle (refusing to work which forced me to pay all the bills)  was devastating.  It's hard to shake this fear. It feels safer to stay alone.