OurPath Open Forum
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
If this does not apply to your topic, please find another forum.
* Opinions posted here, including that of the Administrator, are the poster's own and do not necessarily reflect the views or policies of OurPath.
* As a peer-to-peer network, any advice given is that of a peer, based on personal experience, and should not be considered professional in nature.
* Any discussion of LGBT related issues is acceptable provided it remains constructive and respectful of other viewpoints. Hateful, degrading, or prejudiced speech and/or personal attacks will not be tolerated.
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- Gloria
- Member
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Re: Personal Torment
I am ready to share parts of my story. I need to find out if I share it here or in the section for my story? I tried in July of 20/20 and received abuse from a member. I was so very hurt and upset that I have not shared much.
- Anon2222
- Member
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Re: Personal Torment
Gloria, I am so sorry to hear that. No one deserves abuse at any time, but especially from a support group! We all process, act and cope differently, so have to be open to the fact that we are all struggling, but in different ways.
I did post my story on the story forum but I found I prefer to post in the support/general categories instead since you can get comments and support that way. Either way though, I hope you feel comfortable to share your story and get the support you need.
- •
Thread Starter- Gloria
- Member
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Re: Personal Torment
Anon222, Thank you. I cannot do it this moment as I am going out of town. I first posted in is he or she gay. I was told to post in the support category. I will try again at some point. I want to help and encourage others. Thank you for your kind response.
- Ninjamom
- New member
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Re: Personal Torment
Anon2222 wrote:
Thanks all.
Weve fought for the past couple days. I wish I could just rewind to when things were good and keep it there. At this point in time I would still seriously consider a MOM if he was open to it. Which makes me feel kinda pathetic. I have given everything to this marriage and it has been a real slap in the face to see I was the only one. It has left me feeling worthless, unlovable, disposable.
.
This is where I am, and have been, for the last little while. You aren’t alone.
Just this last week was our anniversary. I gave him concert tickets to a musician he loves (not someone on my radar). He didn’t even remember our anniversary at all, and didn’t even make an attempt to give me something after the fact. No guilt, no remorse, nothing. For years, he used the excuse that he doesn’t buy good gifts (all occasions were the same), so I created wish lists. I sent him links, sizes, colours…. Nope. The day before he would attempt to rush out and find something, so he could say he didn’t have time.
truth is, he didn’t care. He always has the best of the things he wants though.
And I don’t care about “things” but being thought of is important to me.
- Victo
- Member
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Re: Personal Torment
truth is, he didn’t care.
This is why this experience has been so difficult for me.
After 20 years with a GID narcissist, the hardest thing for me to accept has been that I was the only one who ever cared about creating a partnership. I am forced to face the fact that I was a complete fool to put up with it.
Feeling like a longterm fool is not helpful for my recovery, so I have sought to convert it to anger.
But the whole experience is just so wasteful. Such a total waste of love. 🤦♂️