I feel your pain. When my gay husband came out as bi a couple years ago is when it all started for me. My diet tanked. My self care tanked. I gained weight. Stopped exercising. And just kept eating crap. It took a few years but I finally reached the point where I was going to start taking charge again.....and then he came out as gay and right back down the tubes it went.

Food is currently my go to vice. That and spending money decorating the house. Two not great vices at this point in my life....

I just started Noom (I actually do recommend it, it's really good). I decided to give it a try and see if I can get anywhere if I just take slow steps to improve myself. So far I've gotten no where, lol. But I'm gonna keep at it and plugging away and try to make changes to better my life. Right now my life is such a roller coaster and I'm still eating all my emotions. But one step at a time...

I've struggled with my weight since having my kids.  Multiple surgeries and damaged lungs made it so I can only exercise very minimally.  I had two driving forces in wanting to loose weight.  One is I don't like how I look, I have lots of scars, my belly swells when I over do it (like I"m asked when I'm due swelling), and I just don't feel good about myself.  the Second was my husband didn't want to have sex with me and hadn't for over 10 years.  I thought he found me too fat and revolting for it.  He is on a fitness journey, excellent shape...turns out he was gay and I could have been the perfect woman and it wouldn't have been enough.  

Despite throwing everything I could at it my body does not want to let go of any weight. 

For me this all spiraled into an eating disorder.  I started to starve myself, so much so my body went into starvation mode and any fuel I did put into it it hoarded.  I'm still trying to undo that damage.  I still have a very unhealthy realationship with food in I'm afraid of it.  I'm scared that one thing will cause me to gain back the 3 pounds I took weeks to get off and that is because its happened.  

My path has been hitting it from multiple fronts while needing to accept the limitations of my body, that I'm getting older, and the impacts of my traumas.  I will never be what I was before and its okay for me to try to want to loose a few pounds but there needs to be a balance.  

I talked with my doctor and we worked with my medications to try to minimize the ones that may contribute to weight gain.  Anti depressants and anxiety meds can both do it.  She added metformin to my rotation to try to help too.  I know there are some new things on the market but insurance won't cover them.

Continuing my mental health theapy.  I know for sure that the mental health is contributing and well and getting expecially my anxiety under control will also help.  The other goal of the therapy is working through the eating disorder.  This is helping me to accept and embrace my body that has survived many things others have not while reworking my relationship with food.  Right now its still a fight to force myself to eat but I am eating a little more than I was.

Reworking the wardrobe.  It still happens but I would have full on closet meltdowns.  In I'd go in to get dressed and something that fit last week suddenly doesn't because of swelling or something else.  I'd go through multiple outfits until I was just sitting on the floor surrounded by clothes crying because I hate how I looked and they didn't fit.  Red flag I missed is my husband would find me like this and walk away.  So in a spendy move I got rid of not only those pants that I kept telling myself I'd get back in too 'someday' but I sized up items to allow for the swelling.  Having clothes that fit when I put them on helped a great deal in how I felt about myself.  Still not perfect, still have days I can't get the new pants on and I have to go with leggings or a dress, but it has helped.  And new clothes also helped me, yay retail therapy.  I can spend hours hunting on Poshmark.  

The first step I would definitely do is talk to your doctor.  I totally get the frustration with the process.