Yeah not going to lie there have been times we’re I was in a sad and dark place and still have those moments but the moment are few and far between now. Not saying that you and your wife can’t get back together but what I’ve gathered from most people is they want to work with you on it even though they have those feelings and desires to not put y’all second but first. There are cases were people have left that lifestyle but it was their choice to do so for whatever reason. Honestly I wish someone told me this because there not a lot of men who post their experience with this but honestly focus on you and be open to something different. I’m not saying to date but take the time to get to know yourself and want you enjoy outside of her. Join groups and go to events just do sit in the house thinking of her because you’ll go crazy trust me I know. This was the hardest for me but don’t be ashamed to speak with family and friends or a therapist about it. Find what you enjoy in life that give you a reason to keep going because for me there was so many times we’re I wanted to end the hurt and pain but my saving grace was my children. Most important let go of controlling the situation that’s only going to intensify your worry and anxiety.  I know you love her there no doubt I know you do just like I love my wife but focus on yourself. I hope this helps truly.

Last edited by OpzRoguez (July 15, 2022 12:08 pm)

Pr0blemS0lved wrote:

My main fear is my trust levels with women in general are going to be pretty low and I don't want that to affect future potential relationships. Perhaps a female perspective could help me?
 

from my experience, the men who approached me fell into two camps - old friends and new people who had heard the basics of my story as to why I was divorced and to a man these new people were gay in denial.  It was like they thought great, I'll have a crack at her now.

So yes, I do think you have to consider that you have the hallmarks of desirability for the lesbian who wants a man - consider it a badge of honour, they want the cream of the crop and are not blinded by love.

Don't worry about having a lack of trust, really, that's not likely to be a problem.  Let yourself be discerning - anybody worth their salt will welcome that in you.

tbh, thinking about it, it's a matter of protecting your heart, and how can you do that?  I know a man around your age who fell in love hook line and sinker when to me it was obvious it was an act, like she is in Cabaret.  

what can you say at that point?