OurPath Open Forum
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
If this does not apply to your topic, please find another forum.
* Opinions posted here, including that of the Administrator, are the poster's own and do not necessarily reflect the views or policies of OurPath.
* As a peer-to-peer network, any advice given is that of a peer, based on personal experience, and should not be considered professional in nature.
* Any discussion of LGBT related issues is acceptable provided it remains constructive and respectful of other viewpoints. Hateful, degrading, or prejudiced speech and/or personal attacks will not be tolerated.
NOTE: Due to recurring spam abuse, you must register to post.
1 - Agl03
- Member
Offline
What did you do with the ring?
I was getting ready to go today and opened my jewelry box for the first time in a bit and my wedding set is in there. I haven't worn it since he came out or a ring "He got me" (I picked out for myself because he didn't get me anything) for one of our anniversaries.
I don't know what to do with them now.
They used to be items I loved and cherished but now they make me sad to even look at. I can't imagine handing them down to my kids because our marriage is now shrouded in his lies and deceit. I question if he actually every really loved me and that isn't something I want passed on.
Part of me is so sentimental I want to keep them but it seems a waste to have them just sitting in a box.
I heard of people making divorce Jewelry out of them but the cost of that was insane.
Part of me wants to sell the set and use the money on something for me and the kids or towards a new house.
He lost his original wedding ring years ago and then hardly wore the replacement (I know red flag) or the silicone one I got him because he said he wasn't wearing the metal one because of the gym. We didn't have a lot of money when we replaced his band so its not worth much. I guess I don't care what he does with his, I found the silicone one in a ball of dust behind where his nightstand was so I know they are meaningless to him.
Mine on the other hand is worth some money. Its due to be cleaned an appraised for our home insurance soon anyway and I guess that is a place to start. Do I have to ask or give it back to him? Or is it considered mine?
- Leslie77
- Member
Offline
Re: What did you do with the ring?
Hi Ag!03,
I'm in the same situation as you are. I took off my rings when we separated. I loved them and was so proud of them. Now I don't know what to do with them.
The good news - they are considered yours to keep and you don't have to consult with him. I think my ex was considering asking for my diamond back - after 10 years I found the receipt for it on his bureau. I never would have returned it no matter what.
The bad news - in all likelihood, you are not going to get much money for them. A couple of months ago, I brought my set around to a couple of jewelers and dealers who buy jewelry. My diamond was a half-carat platinum ring that cost $3,500. My wedding band was also platinum and cost $2,500. The highest offer I got was $800 FOR BOTH OF THEM! I was told "there is no market for used wedding jewelry". They apparently remove the diamond and melt down the metal. Ironically, platinum is worth less than gold now. One jeweler told me "your engagement ring is nothing special" (Ouch!)
Maybe your rings will be worth more but prepare to be disappointed. You could also try selling them on your own. I'm eventually going to try the website "I do now I don't". But not now, still feeling sad about re-homing the rings. Like you, though, I feel bad seeing them sitting in a box in a drawer. My kids don't want them and I certainly don't want to wear them anymore.
Good luck!
- Ellexoh_nz
- Member
Offline
Re: What did you do with the ring?
Leslie77 wrote:
.... My kids don't want them and I certainly don't want to wear them anymore. ....
I had a pounamu (greenstone). The shape of it represented Infinity. It represented our love, to me anyway, and I loved it. Never took it off. When the soft but tough string it hung on snapped after many years and although the stone itself was okay...broken pounamu indicates (in Maori legend) that a message is being sent from our spiritual guides. It's an indication that we should stop and pay attention to our life and its goings on. I'm not all that spiritual but something inside me said.... This is unfixable
The stone sits in a box. I'll never wear it again. I'll never gift it to anybody
Elle
KIA KAHA
- Grace1958
- Member
Offline
Re: What did you do with the ring?
I can't say on the wedding rings because mine are also sitting in a safe. The stones are all channel set so taking them out is really costly, and my "engagement" ring is a not great quality sapphire. But I can say when my mother died (we had a terrible relationship) and I got all her jewelry I had all the stones taken out and had pieces made for my daughters, pendants and earrings. The bands are really what "matter". the rest can be easily reset by a good jeweler for not much money. For us it was under $1000 and I had the daughter's pendants made in platinum to be heirlooms. Why let lovely stones just sit?
Last edited by Grace1958 (June 5, 2022 6:22 pm)
- Agl03
- Member
Offline
Re: What did you do with the ring?
I can't say on the wedding rings because mine are also sitting in a safe. The stones are all channel set so taking them out is really costly, and my "engagement" ring is a not great quality sapphire. But I can say when my mother died (we had a terrible relationship) and I got all her jewelry I had all the stones taken out and had pieces made for my daughters, pendants and earrings. The bands are really what "matter". the rest can be easily reset by a good jeweler for not much money. For us it was under $1000 and I had the daughter's pendants made in platinum to be heirlooms. Why let lovely stones just sit?
I loved the idea of making something new out of them. I have a bunch of my grandmothers costume jewelry that I was wanting to get reset into something special too.
I know the engagement ring was 5K on its own back in the day (I also found the receipt hidden years ago but he hid it in our financial filing cabinet). I had the engagement, wedding, and anniversary bands all soldered together after one of my hospital stints because I was worried about loosing one of them. doesn't surprise me the value won't hold up.
I'll talk to the jeweler and see what he says, all the pieces came from the same shop as well as a gold necklace he gave me that I don't want anymore either. Worst case they will have to sit in the box until I can afford to have them reworked.
- •
Thread Starter- BirdSolveig
- Member
Offline
Re: What did you do with the ring?
I've been divorced from my TGXH for 25 years. I sold his wedding band for a small amount of money to the jeweler. I gave my wedding ring to my niece but she didn't really want it. I took it back and kept it. I never look at it or wear it or think about it. It didn't have any jewels, but I still think it's pretty. Didn't bother me to keep it, it's just part of history. I picked it out. I did destroy most of the wedding pictures. Have no children so there was not reason to keep them.
- Marianne
- Member
Offline
Re: What did you do with the ring?
I wanted to destroy mine. I heard that the best way to do it is to walk to Mount Doom and cast it into lava. It's guaranteed to destroy the bad energy and I imagine it must be satisfying too. But nowadays it's almost impossible to get anywhere near real lava. So I suppose I'll have to keep the darn ring for a little longer and think about some alternative ways to destroy it.
(Seriously, I'd LOVE to throw it into lava and watch it melt.)
- Ellexoh_nz
- Member
Offline
Re: What did you do with the ring?
(Seriously, I'd LOVE to throw it into lava and watch it melt.)
The next best thing..Come to New Zealand, visit the mud pools in Rotorua and throw it into one of those. Geothermal activity. Boiling, bubbling mud. It wouldn't melt but nobody would jump in to save it.
It would sink to the bottomless depths of Hells Gate
Elle
KIA KAHA
- Agl03
- Member
Offline
Re: What did you do with the ring?
Yellowstone is a nice option if you are wanting to throw it into a horrible pool of bad hot stuff too.
- •
Thread Starter- beastie
- Member
Offline
Re: What did you do with the ring?
Threw them in a bonfire. They were fake, anyway.