I'm a Christian Believer Charity. 

I'm so sorry you have found yourself in this situation.  I've been struggling to understand God's plan for my life and why I find myself here as well.  I felt I did the right things leading up to marriage, spent much time in prayer asking if she was the right one for me and listening to try to hear God's affirmation of that.  Yet I now find myself on the doorstep of divorce and wonder if perhaps I had it all wrong 16 years ago.  Or maybe this is God's plan for my life and He will use my struggle for good in the end. 

I can't offer much support on the transgender issue since I'm not in that situation.  But I can offer you prayer and emotional support. 

Please remember that He is walking with you and he will not forsake you.  We are not promised a fair and perfect life here on earth, but we are promised a future with him and we can look forward to that. 

Blessings

CharityEmet
I'm not a Christian, but I'm in your situation, living with a husband who would also like to be a woman and a female, so I understand the "unique thoughts and emotions" that come from being married to a man living with this "affliction." There are a number threads by those with crossdressing/"transgendered" husbands, but  I have found a lot to think about in all the posts, whether they are specific to my situation or not, so I recommend that you read around.  

Rob,

   I don't know your story, but I imagine it's some horrible cycle of soul-crushing infidelities, homosexuality, tearful confusion, and broken promises... and like you said:  lies, rage, and deceit. None of which you asked for or deserved. I've reviewed what Jesus said about divorce as I'm sure you did and Porneos is the word he uses as the big reason for divorce.  Generally people translate that to adultery, but it's a much broader term which I'm comfortable transgender and homosexuality fall into.  So, yeah, God probably doesn't want you in that marriage. :/

   But thank God for our kids! Like I was saying to LostDad, we'll get through this and be stronger for it.  Transgender is the latest of a line of attacks, and I've dealt with a debilitating illness for 16 years -- most of my adult life.  But I'm only now learning that we can speak things into (or out of) existence, like God did with the Void in the beginning.  So, I look at the destruction around me and instead am deciding to call it life and hope and order.  It's taking time to manifest, but it is very steadily happening.  That's what Jesus was talking about with the moving the mountain with a tiny bit of faith.  We are imbued with this power from the Holy Spirit.  I was deceived by my symptoms, thinking I was sick, but scripture says Jesus bore my sicknesses and by His stripes I am healed.  So why do I feel sick?  I don't know, but I do know that I have seen improvement for the first time in years (after tens of doctors, countless dietary changes, and hundreds of medications) as I claim out loud that I am well. 

   And I'm doing the same for our marriage, for my children's afflictions, my husband's afflictions, our finances. I have faith that God will fulfill what he promises.  Now, Greg has free will, but whatever he does, I'll still have a deep, intimate relationship with God, and the provisions to care for me and my children. Because, without God and His provisions, there is no one to care for my helpless babies -- I can not work and I am too sick take care of the kids alone -- indeed my future is grim without Christ. But that's not the true state of things! I DO have Jesus and who the son sets free is free indeed. We have Life abundantly RIGHT NOW! He didn't just save us once, love us once, He is saving us, loving us today! Don't accept less from the Enemy!

    How old are your children? I'm sure they're amazing -- they're no small piece of hope. They are your legacy. They are at least part of your ministry. Have they forgiven your ex? You are powerful and your words are powerful. The Word says we are more than conquerors. I'm telling you the lies, rage, and deceit are going to become a speck in the rear-view mirror soon enough. Your life won't be defined by those things. You're so much more than that, and so is God...

I am a believer too Charity.
I also did all the "right" things ...I even met my husband AT church.  On the surface, one would think he was the better christian, but the fact is...he lied to me and solicited sex outside of our marriage. The fact that it was a man seeking a man was just "icing on the cake".

We only had sex 3 times in two years.  And if I were to be honest, part of me is looking forward to going out there and "playing the field."  He made me feel like a dirty hoe for requesting a FULL marriage-he was tired, he didnt feel well, he had low Testerone, etc etc etc. Always some excuse.

Nope...he was getting it from guys on Craigslist.

 

NaiveChump wrote:

I am a believer too Charity.
I also did all the "right" things ...I even met my husband AT church.  On the surface, one would think he was the better christian, but the fact is...he lied to me and solicited sex outside of our marriage. The fact that it was a man seeking a man was just "icing on the cake".

We only had sex 3 times in two years.  And if I were to be honest, part of me is looking forward to going out there and "playing the field."  He made me feel like a dirty hoe for requesting a FULL marriage-he was tired, he didnt feel well, he had low Testerone, etc etc etc. Always some excuse.

Nope...he was getting it from guys on Craigslist.

 

I met my wife in college, but only considered her a potential partner because she was also on fire for the Lord.  We went church together, some college bible study groups, etc..   She said she believe homosexuality was a sin for years after we go married.   In the past few years though, she has changed a lot in her religious beliefs.  She has abandoned the basic tenants of Christianity, but still claims she is a Christian.  She hates the church.  I believe she  has been tempted by the devil to listen to false teachers who teach what she wants to hear.  She wants to be told that it's ok to be sexually sinful (not just talking about homosexuality.. but sex outside marriage, adultery, etc..)  She wants to believe that you can die without knowing the Lord and he will still allow you into heaven because he loves everyone so much.   It's basically permission to sin as much as you like here during your life without any consequences. 

Anyway.. sorry for the rant.  I guess what I was trying to say is that I too thought my relationship was grounded on the Lord and because of that it should have been blessed and successful.  Sadly we can't be 100% sure that our partners will remain faithful to God through their lives.