My comments in red

Agl03 wrote:

Elle,

Sadly all the goblins kind of tie into each other in my head. Damn goblins! but you can see them, you've acknowledged them right? So now you have to UNtie them. I'm no doctor but when you have to take a pill to counteract another pill...that's putting more stress (more goblins actually) on your already stressed body. The trauma's all feeding one another with what I see my biggest demon in my anxiety.  My panic attacks can be dehabilitating, last for hours, and be stronger than even my emergency anxiety meds and I have pretty strong ones.  We had been making headway in therapy, even been able to reduce my meds when the confession came.  Now my meds have all been doubled again and we are on the hunt for something to help me sleep.  Last pill made my cut my hair in my sleep so we are a bit more careful now..We? All these decisions about medication should be yours. I don't have much trust in doctors. Their answer to everything is generally "what medication can I give her" I'm not going to say anything more about it because you're half a world away and my personal stance is irrelevant. 
Apologies if I offend you

I am very much a people person and have been told by those around me that should i decide to try to find myself someone new I won't have a problem.  Before I went down I worked sales almost my entire life and have not trouble meeting or interacting in groups of people.  Though I have yet to decide if I want to tread into those waters again. That's something people say isn't it? Because they're not quite sure what to say.....lol

Over the last few years I've been getting into make up for the first time in my life and watching videos on how to use it better.  A major motivation in this was to hide how bad I was mentally and physically.  Hide the bags and pale face.  Now, I like getting myself all done up when I am allowed out and when I have the right make up and outfit on I do feel like that fancy expensive purse.   Another form of self expression is my hair last literally been every color of the rainbow... Good on you Ag  My eyes now have permanent bags from all the crying I did. I'm not a make-up person. I simply don't see the point for myself but I nourish my skin with a KawaKawa balm my sister makes for me  to try to keep the wrinkles at bay

Sometimes a good soak, face mask, and some fancy face cream can go a long way in making me feel better.I sat in a sauna a couple of weeks ago, that make me feel wonderful.  

Elle