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- Judy
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Re: The latest
Vicky,
I have two therapists - with different fields of expertise - and I'm in two groups. Therapists never tell anyone what to do. They only clarify or validate your own choice in what direction you decide. I would bet your therapist does think you should leave. There is no living with narcissists and the way you describe him, it seems to me that's what he is. Add in TGT - whether he admits to it or not, and it's no longer a marriage. Just an endurance test. Living with him under the same roof will become intolerable if you do it indefinitely with no end date. My biggest mistake in all this was not admitting it was over decades ago. I was working on a marriage all by myself and when I look back on it, what a fool I was. Work toward out. Work toward taking control of your own life back. Don't consider him on any level. He isn't considering you. Facing it's over is hard. Not facing it is even harder. I think the biggest thing I've gotten out of therapy is clarity what I think about all this is correct. It's shocking, consuming and devastating. Inch by inch you will survive it. You've proven you can. Stay on the path that feels good to you.
Last edited by Judy (December 17, 2016 5:59 am)
- Rob
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Re: The latest
LC wrote:
"Just because you say it 100 times doesn't make it truth!"
That's my own I tell him when he spews his crap
OMG, that is so right.. My ex thought if she said it with enough conviction or screamed or raged it at me... or wrote it down, that that made it true.
It was like the movie "Gaslight" taken to the nth degrree. Best one by far is "you cheated on me" (I now know as Projection)... said with so much conviction and then tried to back it up with evidence... I had to think really hard..did I cheat? I had no female friends? I was always home? Am I crazy?
So glad to be away from the crazy lies. Its scary and sad when your spouse not only spews lies but believes them.
"For we walk by faith, not by sight .." 2Corinthians 5:7
- JJ1966
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Re: The latest
OH JUDY I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!
Go not quietly into that great, good night......Rage, rage against the dying of the light.