Hi Andy,

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

This is going to be difficult to hear, but there is nothing you can do to get her back.  If she's found who she thinks she can be happy with, she won't entertain being with you.  If she abruptly does, then it usually means they've broken up with the other person, and they want someone back in their life, and they'll take you over nothing.  Then she'll repeat the cycle.  I'm sorry to have to tell you all of that, but it's the truth.

She's been lying to you, deceiving you, and making you beg - when she's the one who's doing everything wrong.  you have to ask yourself at some point why you're so desperate to be with someone who's not wanting to be with you.  Breaking up is hard to do, I know.  But it doesn't mean you shouldn't do it.  I had to tell myself that if someone wasn't thrilled to be with me, I wasn't going to try to make the relationship work.  Only if we both want each other should we try.  That's not to say that we don't wax and wane over the years, and annoy each other.  But that's vastly different from "she'd done with me, but I'm going to keep trying anyway".  Imagine that someone from your past (that you broke up with) wanted you back.  Is there ANYthing that they could have done to cry and beg and plead you back into their life (outside of maybe telling you that they were pregnant)?  It becomes LESS attractive to go with someone who is desperate - not MORE attractive.

I think you need to think about what's important here.  I'm sure you're missing your kids.  So concentrate on what you can do to get as much time with them as possible.  Your wife is likely to take any offer of getting them off her hands as it frees her up for her new lifestyle and pursuing her girlfriend.  Take advantage of that - have the kids over for dinner, or to go play at the park, or help them with homework or hobbies.  Start projects with them - birdhouses, painting - anything.  Stock your place up with fun stuff for the kids and they will come.  You may not be able to salvage your marriage, but you can salvage your relationship with your kids.  Your kids and your wife SEEM like a package deal, but they are not.  Separate the two and go after that which is not only attainable, but will enable you to all get through this better.

As for the new girlfriend being liked so much by the kids, that's the pits.  But think about it from another perspective.  What if your kids HATED this new woman, but your wife kept her around, anyway?  At least the kids are enjoying who they're with.  That doesn't take anything from you whatsoever.  She is not your replacement - she never will be.  Listen to their excitement and stories as if the girlfriend were a party clown.  "The clown was great?  You had fun?  FANTASTIC!  I'm so glad you are having a blast!"  and mean it.

Keep stopping by.  There are lots of people here to help you.

All the best -

Kel

And the worst thing I still want her back 😒 I feel so ill and weak I'm gutted but she is with her. My boy also has autism and don't like change. They don't come much bigger then this y can't she see that

Cheers mate means a lot I know it's early days so will build myself up over the next week to have them again I love them so much just hurts

Try doing some home projects. .I find it takes my mind off of the lezex and her antics.