OurPath Open Forum
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
If this does not apply to your topic, please find another forum.
* Opinions posted here, including that of the Administrator, are the poster's own and do not necessarily reflect the views or policies of OurPath.
* As a peer-to-peer network, any advice given is that of a peer, based on personal experience, and should not be considered professional in nature.
* Any discussion of LGBT related issues is acceptable provided it remains constructive and respectful of other viewpoints. Hateful, degrading, or prejudiced speech and/or personal attacks will not be tolerated.
NOTE: Due to recurring spam abuse, you must register to post.
1 - Daryl
- Member
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Registering
Keep in mind that if you decide to register a couple things can happen.
First - your username gets reserved so no one can come along anonymously and post under the same name as you. (I forgot to log in and couldn't post as the board told me there was already a user of that name.)
Second - your registered user name can be clicked on and we can see anything you want public such as location and website. We can also see how many posts you made, show them all and see when you were last online.
Third - you can opt in or out of private messages.
Fourth - if you start a thread you can opt to receive notifications when someone replies. (Obviously you must have an email address associated with your username for this to work.)
There are other things too like signatures and we can do links and polls but i expect everyone will figure that stuff out as we go.
Just found a fifth I didn't think about - you can edit your old posts!
Last edited by Daryl (June 12, 2016 12:28 pm)
“The future is unwritten.”
― Joe Strummer
- jk
- Member
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Re: Registering
I have tried and failed to find any support. I have never fully recovered from my ex coming out as a transsexual many years ago and I am currently having a crisis. I think I am still the vulnerable person I was when we met. My life is a disaster area and I think I have made a total mess of bringing up my daughters. I am so desperately unhappy and lonely. Bless my dog as it is him who keeps me going.
- Daryl
- Member
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Re: Registering
Depending on where you live, finding support can be hard. Fortunately the users here understand and SSN has resources you can access from their main website. You should start your own thread in the Support category and relay as much of your story as you care to share. There is a lot of wisdom here. And yes, pets help. Mine was invaluable in the early days.
“The future is unwritten.”
― Joe Strummer
- •
Thread Starter- Rob
- Member
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Re: Registering
JK
Post your plea as a new thread in the support section..
You are not alone. Your more worthy and valuable than you will ever know.
"For we walk by faith, not by sight .." 2Corinthians 5:7
- Daryl
- Member
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Re: Registering
There should be a User Registration somewhere in the top part of the forum. I don't recall exactly what it looks like as I now automatically log-in. (Maybe not a good idea on a shared computer if you require some discretion at the moment.) It's a judgment call for each person's situation.
“The future is unwritten.”
― Joe Strummer
- •
Thread Starter- Sue
- Member
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Re: Registering
It only shows up on desktop format, not mobile. But you can toggle to desktop while on a mobile. Desktop seems much easier to use.
"You want a man who messes up your lipstick, not your mascara."
- Whatwillbe21
- Member
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Re: Registering
My husband came out in January and we are still living together because of the pandemic and money. He has now asked that we stay living together as a family longer and just see how it goes. He does not want us to be in a relationship together but friends living together co parenting for now and when we are more stable and have moved on to new ppl take it from there.
I really dont know what to think. Any help and advice welcome please
Help!
- OutofHisCloset
- Member
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Re: Registering
It's quite common for our newly out spouses to temporize in this way. They want to retain the comfort and security of the known, and often still want our support and care (and our financial contribution), as well as the freedom to explore their newly declared sexual orientation.
In my opinion, it's extremely selfish, and supremely dismissive of our feelings that the blow their announcement has raised in us. We can't simply turn the dial from "spouse" to "roommate," and it's unreasonable to expect it. That they can do this, and so easily, is itself another blow. It's also disingenuous to suggest "co-parenting" while living together is somehow "best" for the children; to see parents become roommates is disorienting, not a more healthy choice than actual separation, which has the benefit of clarity and preparation for the future.
I would ask you to shift your attention from him and what he wants, and why he wants it, and think about how you feel, what you want and need. I would also suggest that you find yourself a confidante in your life--a friend or relative--you can talk to, and a counselor/therapist just for you, to help you sort out your feelings. Also, visit a lawyer, so that you can have a clear picture of the options open to you--legal separation, a temporary order for child support, etc. Knowing your options can help you make a decision about what is best for you.
- Beth365
- New member
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Re: Registering
Hello everyone
I did not know so many of us where going through similar situations. My husband of 14 years been together 16 years came to me to tell me he bisexual. Of course this was about two weeks before our wedding anniversary. He states to me he wants to be able to go have sex with men but still be married to me. He does not want that to change.
I don’t even know how to process the situation. We have had many discussion about it. I think I am more mad at myself then anything right now. He has cheated on me before. I was pregnant with our first child when he apparently started emailing,sending pictures, taking ad out. I found out about this by accident. He had been doing for year and half behind my back. I should have left the but I love him. He said he was done with it. I guess not since here we are. He want to go have sex with other men but us to stay married. He states it would be just sex. I don’t know how to wrap my head around it. I love him but not sure I can do this. He states I could go have sex with other people as well. I am not the type of person just goes and does that. Unfortunately we kind have to stay in the same house because of our financial situation. I wonder now what he doing when he not home.
How do you have open marriage? He stayed to me this is what he wants. I feel like he wants his cake and eat too. He type person gets in his head he going to do it. He already started looking on a app. I am so anger and hurt. I feel so broken. I feel bad for people around me because I get pissed off very easy now. He also does not want people to know the truth about him either. He just tells people we are having problems and may get separated. He tells me that I should love all of him if I really love him. It shouldn’t make difference if he bisexual or not. He acts like I am supposed to just except and not have any type of emotions about it. Part me just want to tell people that he wants to be with a man. That’s why we having issue. The other part of me knows that would be wrong to do. I feel I have no where to turn because most people have no idea about this.
Thanks for listening