OurPath Open Forum
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
If this does not apply to your topic, please find another forum.
* Opinions posted here, including that of the Administrator, are the poster's own and do not necessarily reflect the views or policies of OurPath.
* As a peer-to-peer network, any advice given is that of a peer, based on personal experience, and should not be considered professional in nature.
* Any discussion of LGBT related issues is acceptable provided it remains constructive and respectful of other viewpoints. Hateful, degrading, or prejudiced speech and/or personal attacks will not be tolerated.
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- HopelessRomantic
- Member
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Re: My fiancee cheated on me with a man
Girly,
I’m going to parrot what others are saying here... you aren’t married yet, I’m assuming you don’t have kids together yet, so get out while it’s still easy. You have no obligation to stay. Cheating is cheating.. He slept with another man. The ‘better ask forgiveness than permission’ mentality doesn’t just go away. If you marry him, do so knowing that’s what you’re signing up for.
- Victo
- Member
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Re: My fiancee cheated on me with a man
Girly- I am so sorry you are here. This is a horrible experience to have to go through because it rightfully causes one to question what had been unquestioned - your heterosexual connection with your fiancee.
In this case, there are multiple red flags that are flapping furiously in your face right before you commit to spending a lifetime in this match.
Mainly, the fact that you found out about his sexuality, his cheating, and the fact that his behavior might have health consequences for you - all at once because you discovered evidence he left behind.
This is too much of a bombshell for you to just go ahead and marry him as though this isn’t happening.
It is happening.
If anything, spend some time really reading about other people’s experiences learning they are in mixed-orientation-relationships AFTER THE FACT. Spend some time really thinking through your situation. Talk to a therapist.
The fact that you found out BEFORE the wedding is the biggest blessing in disguise.
Good luck!
- LuvDogs
- New member
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Re: My fiancee cheated on me with a man
You're probably so confused right now. You want to believe him... he may want to believe himself.
I was in your position... initially. Years later, now, my life is being blown apart.
If I had seen the clues, realized their weight. If I had trusted my gut, took action. ?
It will only get harder. For both of you. There is love between you, but it may be in different form. Try and communicate now, before you build an entire life together and there's so much more to lose.