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1 of 1- mtnester
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Thanksgiving
Not too many years ago, I would have been a basket case on this night before Thanksgiving. I had discovered my husband of 37 years was gay and for about 5 years had been picking up men online for sex. Of course, I knew I had to be the only woman this had happened to, but thanks to some online searching I found several sources of info and support including this site when it was still the SSN. Also thanks to a great counselor and the divorce recovery group she referred me to, I worked through the grief caused by the death of my marriage and life as I knew it. I also met a great group of women who, while they couldn't understand my particular situation, knew I was as wounded as they were by their husbands cheating with women.
One of the great gifts my counselor gave me was tips for navigating the holidays. The biggest was to plan ahead. That wasn't always easy. I had no family here where I live and couldn't always travel to where my family members are. I managed to handle the big holidays pretty well, but it was those little ones that got me - Memorial Day when everyone picnics, 4th of July when families gather to watch fireworks, et cetera.
But as years passed and I moved further toward healing, even those little ones became less of a challenge. So now I'm alone on Thanksgiving Eve but I'm not lonely. I've baked a pumpkin pie for tomorrow and in the morning I'll start preparing my feast - a turkey breast, mashed potatoes, green beans, rolls and the pie. I'll have plenty of food to feed myself and to share if there's anyone I discover is also alone. I'll build a fire in the fireplace and put on Christmas music and begin decorating my little home. If you find yourself caught off guard by Thanksgiving emotions, hang in there. But start planning now for Christmas. If you don't have family or friends to hang with, see if you can find a group to volunteer with. I found that turning away from myself and toward others made a huge difference in my life.
I have much to be thankful for. Hang in there, folks. It gets better. It really does.
Everything will be all right in the end; if it's not all right, it's not the end.
- MJM017
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Re: Thanksgiving
mtnester,
Thank you for your thoughtful post! Am sorry you went through TGT, but am glad your efforts have yielded a more satisfying life. 😊
I remember the emptiness hitting me when my late GIDXH & I would arrive home from a family holiday gathering. I visited online forums to read & write posts to feel connected with someone despite my h being in the same room.
It's better now. Am alone, still healing, but not as lonely as when married.
Happy Thanksgiving to you!
No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa
- walkbymyself
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Re: Thanksgiving
Happy Thanksgiving, all. Quiet here; my daughter is with my XH but texting me nonstop for turkey roasting instructions. I'm doing Friendsgiving with some neighbors! Then I'll have my daughter for Christmas, which will be a treat.