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- jamieblunt
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Re: Probably sounds familiar
Elle thanks for the slap around, i think i needed that!
Lily my m8 is plan A, its the only way to achieve the divorce without selling the house (which the stbx agrees with) with his share of my house i can pay off the stbx and get the divorce sealed and done at the same time, without. I cant ask him to front up the money without ensuring that stbx has no onward claim on the house.
Plan B involved selling the house which neither of us want because of the children.
hes coming down for the weekend as stbx is away having a big gay weekend in Bristol so we are going to watch the all blacks hump the irish and we will talk about all of this so i can pin him down, weve known each other for 40 years and he wont let me down even if he is as mad as a box of frogs
- jamieblunt
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Re: Probably sounds familiar
Hi Gloria
i really don't want to start a war, as much as stbx has destroyed our future plans etc she really isn't a bad person or mother. It would only end up hurting the children and i don't want to destroy stbx and that would,
also it has fallen naturally that my son wants to live with me and my daughter will want to be with her mum, i have to get advice from the solicitor i am seeing tomorrow but i cant see any court fighting the will of a 15 year old boy if they do indeed put the children first.
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Thread Starter- Ellexoh_nz
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Re: Probably sounds familiar
jamieblunt wrote:
.....we are going to watch the all blacks hump the irish.....
The black caps just beat England in cricket 
Re 'slapping you round the ears' LOL....I will say your children are THE most important people in all this. Before you, certainly before their mother and it's not as easy to see the harm it's doing to kids because it all gets lost in your own distress. Children don't have the words to express themselves and you won't know they didn't until it reappears in years to come...in their behavior, their attitude towards you, who they have become. It's why I said start focusing on them instead of their mother. She's already made decisions that will affect your childrens lives and can't even see the damage it may do.
Elle
KIA KAHA
- jamieblunt
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Re: Probably sounds familiar
i saw the solicitor yesterday and my Plan A ,she believes will have no issue in front of a judge as its 50/50,joint custody and at the moment uncontested.
After Elle's "pep talk/slap" ive had a good week with the stbx, we even had a few pleasant conversations about when this is all over and other such stuff.
Now my only concern is making sure my mad as a box of frogs best m8 doesn't let me down, now i have my zen back i have said we will look at April to start the divorce with the no fault issue,
she is away on her big gay weekend so i am at home with the children but thats 100% fine with me
got my m8 coming round tomorrow to watch the boks, the all blacks and the prisoners.
Boks to best the sweaties
All Blacks to beat the paddies
plague island to beat the prisoners
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Thread Starter- Daryl
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Re: Probably sounds familiar
Good luck with this. It's never a fun process, but if both parties are in broad agreement, it may be less stressful.
“The future is unwritten.”
― Joe Strummer
- jamieblunt
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Re: Probably sounds familiar
blinking solicitor nearly made me cry
she said it was refreshing /nice not to see someone trying to destroy the other party
really had to hold it in,
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Thread Starter- lily
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Re: Probably sounds familiar
another aspect to what your solicitor said - the odds are not good for your partner also being kind-hearted towards you.
certainly that turned out to be the case for me - while I was busy wanting things to be as good as possible for him, he was busy wanting things to be as bad as possible for me.
and I had no idea - I've only understood that with hindsight, so I wanted to say it to you now. It is a long time to wait before starting proceedings and I am thinking it might be possible to complete the financial separation agreement first, once you have the custody and financial separation agreements signed up, the divorce itself is a formality.
- Ellexoh_nz
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Re: Probably sounds familiar
blinking solicitor nearly made me cry
she said it was refreshing /nice not to see someone trying to destroy the other party
really had to hold it in,
You should have. Cried. Shown some emotion so she knows where your heart is. Sometimes the best thing is to actually tell your truth
KIA KAHA
- jamieblunt
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Re: Probably sounds familiar
Thanks Lily,thats a good thought i will ask next week if that finance stuff can be done at anytime as there is a fair it of faff involved, i know it is meaningless until the divorce happens but if we can get that bit done that would be good.
stbx doesnt even want to engage a solicitor for this,she says she trusts me 100%, i know you will all think its a trap but you really dont know her.
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Thread Starter