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August 25, 2021 8:00 am  #11

Re: I've noticed that many of you can't bring yourselves to..

I must say I think that is so horrible of him to accept the invite. Maybe he will change his mind about attending when he realises it gives you a chance to talk with his girlfriend.  or if he fears it will force you to talk about him to your family.


August 25, 2021 8:20 am  #12

Re: I've noticed that many of you can't bring yourselves to..

Toward the Light - no definitely do not talk to your ex about it - he would love the centrality of knowing that he can still hurt you. Its like gold for people like him. Don't do it.

I know some people don't like Chump Lady but she got me through.  This link below and the comments on it describe all the different ways people have handled your problem.


So don't sweat it - if its too hard and sad don't go.  There is no right or wrong way - the way that works best for you is the one you should follow.


August 25, 2021 3:27 pm  #13

Re: I've noticed that many of you can't bring yourselves to..

Elle, I'm used to forums that obscure certain words. I do it out of habit.

Rob, thanks for the definition. That's the sad truth in a nutshell. Am so sorry you have to be subjected to it.  I don't know how these troublemaking exes can sleep at night. .

TowardTheLight, I agree with Soaplife about not talking things out with your ex.  He's not a trustworthy guy and he's still in the closet deceiving someone else.  You're the lady with the beans he doesn't want spilled.  He may most likely set you up for a verbal altercation talking things out. He'll report it to your family. He'll look like a great guy with a problem ex-wife.  Win-win for him.

Do the grey rock. Perhaps best to let him show his true colors with your family on his own.

Good luck & hope it all works out for you!

Take care.

No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa 

August 25, 2021 11:09 pm  #14

Re: I've noticed that many of you can't bring yourselves to..

Toward the light,

If its your nephew and your family and you want to go I would consider going.  As an inlaw he should feel like the odd man out. Let him bring a woman,  man, purple alien.   If it's too traumatizing then don't go..no need to look at him.  Sounds like a real loser for accepting the invite..and your nephew sounds odd inviting an ex.

"For we walk by faith, not by sight .."  2Corinthians 5:7

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