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- Ordinary guy
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Re: Constant Pit In My Stomach
You give of yourself fully and that should be reciprocated in a balanced relationship. You love the soul of your other, you treat them as you would treat your mirrored self. You respect and accept them for who they are and most importantly, there has to be a bond of mutual trust and honesty.
If for any reason that bond becomes broken then the relationship can become one sided, where one ends up giving more then they can afford to while trying to maintain their own integrity. When you reach the stage where you are giving up elements of your integrity, you will like Rob find that you are shaking from the internal emotional pain of your inner self begging you to stop giving more than you ever should. More than anyone could give in the hope that it would eventually be returned. The pain we so often bear is the full weight of our love, turned into an insidious grief by betrayal and rejection. All of that grief, was all of our love that had simply nowhere left to go. There, but for the grace of God go I.
And now here is my secret, a very simple secret. It is only with the heart that one can see clearly that which is essential is invisible to the eye.
- Ellexoh_nz
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Re: Constant Pit In My Stomach
SunflowersMan wrote:
.....The one thing I struggle with right now are the days we decide to not communicate so she can explore, I am in constant “fear” ......
That feeling... That constant ache...is the beginning of a new path that's going to hurt and twist like a motherfucker for a while yet. When it happens, as soon as it happens, take several deep breaths and then keep your breathing steady until the "fear" dissipates.
I had a crippling ache in my stomach that I couldn't understand and for some strange reason I felt it was hunger.... So I fed it. Or I drank (water!) Until I realized it was happening when I was thinking about my partner, worked out it was stress then could 'see' the issue for what it was. I even thought it was the start of a stomach ulcer lol but it was emotional fear that something was happening it my r'ship that I didn't want but couldn't control.
Well Sunflower hell yes! you can control it. This is your life, your stomach and your girlfriend has no right to make you feel like you're feeling...
You just have to get to the point where you realize... Believe.... Know.... That this is not how two people who "belong together" can survive together
Elle
til your body figures out that when you feel that fear
KIA KAHA
- lily
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Re: Constant Pit In My Stomach
You give of yourself fully and that should be reciprocated in a balanced relationship.
yes exactly, that's just the way it is and there you are giving fully and trusting that your partner is doing the same and slowly slowly the anxiety starts building. Sunflowersman is already titling his thread constant pit in my stomach. I remember lying on the sofa one day and clearly identifying I am feeling an anxiety in my stomach all the time. It's there all the time. Immediately I started to think oh dear that must be damage from my childhood - why did I think this, because that is what my partner told me, I was damaged by my childhood rather than anxious over him.
Since finding this board though, you recognise it is a common theme, the underlying anxiety in the pit of the stomach.
Finding yourself again seems to have a lot to do with connecting back up so that your gut instinct is not disabled any more. I was lying on that sofa feeling a knot of anxiety in the pit of my stomach - if I felt that bad these days I'd be shocked, omg what's happening. I wouldn't just get up and go about my day - eventually that ends up affecting your health anyway but I wouldn't do that, I would be asking myself what is wrong. I would be listening to my gut instinct, what is making me feel this way.