Yes, detach is a good idea. It's hard to reconcile what he his now to who he used to be. Maybe a vacation...

Hello britty, yes, if you can get away for a little holiday, just you and your son, it would be very helpful for your stress.

My gxh holidayed in Paris for 2 months while my youngest son and myself came home (it was planned that way as son had to go back to school).

Those 2 months at home without gxh  were such a circuit breaker.  We could relax, no fear of sudden rages or cutting remarks. It gave me precious time to think, to attend counselling, and to realise how much better life was without gxh there.

I was able to line up my ducks during that break, and left with my son the day after gxh came home. But even if you cant leave a break will give you time and space to think and strategise your future to find a way to cope that is doable for you.

Its a hard road xx

I'm going to suggest for now, temporarily,to talk to a psychiatrist or doctor about antidepressants and other medication to handle the stress.

I had my antidepressants..aka indifference pills..made me not cry like her.   And I had my shaking pills..for when I started to shake from the trauma..
You need not take medication forever..but need to function for yourself and kid.  We need all the help we can get.

(These spouses..we're in therapy, the kids are in therapy, the dog is in therapy..and they're just doing what makes them "happy" oblivious to destruction around them..)

Agree with everyone else...detach and treat yourself kindly..because he's obviously not.  These spouse have no idea of the stress, anxiety and hurt they cause....or many do and don't care. 

Make sure you have a "safe spot" in your home away from him.  New routines to not be home as much help also.  I also found sticking to my routines religiously helped with the stress...ie get up and make coffee and eat the same thing..gave me a sense of control and normality. 

Small tiny steps.  Stoic and strong when you can and then give yourself a break.

Copied this from one of the very old pinned posts, can't take credit for it....

10 Steps to Distancing
1) Stop asking new personal things of your partner about him/herself.

2) Don’t give out personal things about yourself to them.

3) Don’t bend over backwards to celebrate any occasions that involve them.

4) Don’t bend over backwards to help them more than is necessary

5) Don’t help them if they or someone else can.

6) Avoid discussions that involve their lives, re: old topics.

7) Start to develop new activities that don’t involve them.

8) Try to make new friends, acquaintances, anything.

9) Make small changes in your life: rearrange furniture, change decorations, try new soaps, ride your bike in a different route, eat at a different restaurant, eat different foods, cook them a different way, shop at different stores, rearrange the landscaping, change some of your habits, change the style of clothing you wear, etc.

10) If they ask favors of you, tell them you want time to think about it.