OurPath Open Forum

This Open Forum is funded and administered by OurPath, Inc., (formerly the Straight Spouse Network). OurPath is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to Straight Partners and Partners of Trans People who have discovered that their partner is LGBT+. Your contribution, no matter how small, helps us provide our community with this space for discussion and connection.


You are not logged in. Would you like to login or register?

July 19, 2021 1:39 pm  #1

I was married for 28 years to the love of my life

I am sure my story is similar to many others. I had a 6 year old daughter when we met. He was very handsome and dated some, but for some reason he liked going out with me. We shared the same interests and had a lot of fun together. He did not want to have pre-marital sex, but he said it was because of his upbringing. I respected that and waited until we got married. I got pregnant right away and so we did not have sex often. He said because I was pregnant and then breastfeeding. We had 4 children together and adopted another one. Sex was not often again because of the kids. I loved him very much and we had a great life together and raised wonderful children. I chose to not worry about the sex because I decided it wouldn't matter that much because I was really happy with everything else in my life. He was a wonderful partner and father. Until 4 years ago. We moved to another city for his job and I was helping my parents move there to be closer to me and I was getting ready to start a new job and he told me he was diagnosed with HIV and that he contracted it by having sex with other men. I later learned this had been going on for most of our marriage. I ended up divorcing him. All of our children are adults and we have grandchildren. This has been incredibly difficult for me. Losing my best friend and partner of almost 30 years. Someone that I cannot look at because I don't know that person. I have always been an ally. One of my children is transgender and happily married. I don't have an issue with the lifestyle, just the lies and complete lack of trust. It is hard to find anyone to talk to about this because most people cannot understand how I feel. Part of me understands why he would have wanted to hide it at the beginning...his job, his church, his family. But later on, after our children were grown and he changed jobs and we moved for his job....He should have told me then. I think that is what I am most upset about. Thanks for reading through this. 


Board footera


Powered by Boardhost. Create a Free Forum