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July 6, 2021 4:58 pm  #1


Wife came out to me last night. I feel devastated. Don’t know what to do or how to feel. I want to go away, but have no where to go.  My family has fallen apart in a day.

A few days ago, my wife of 18 years and I had an argument and I asked how our sex life has changed so drastically.  I asked if she was happy with me, have I done something wrong, etc.  She told me it was due to her being a middle aged parent and her sex drive pretty much dropped due to that.

Last night after a few days of us not really talking to each other, she turned to me, sobbing, and said she was gay.  She said that she had only realized this a few months ago.  She said her whole life she never understood her feelings. When I asked if she truly loved me, she said she did, and our years of having a wonderful marriage were real.  She said she wanted to just die with this secret until she saw how much our huge decline in intimacy  has really affected me.  She said she has never cheated on me, and I believe her.  She is the sweetest human in the world and along with my being my wife, she’s my best friend… we were study friends while in school.

We have two beautiful children together (10/6), a house, everything…  Its the life we both have said we had always wanted.  She says she wants to stay married and that she really is in love with me and is committed to me and my family, but in the back of my mind, I understand how not being true to yourself can take it’s toll and may lead to feelings of resentment.

I don’t know how to feel.  We both love our family and want this to work out, but am I only counting down the days until my heart breaks?  Is separation inevitable?

Sorry for venting and sorry if this isnt that coherent.  This really hit me like a ton of bricks so recently.  I have no idea what to do.  We live in her childhood town and I don’t really have anywhere to go


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