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May 24, 2022 6:59 pm  #1961


Re: A gay ex-husband answers your questions

Thank you for posting Meredith, although I'm so very sorry you've found yourself here. In reply: 

1. I’m new here and I posted last week a quick summary (“Crushed and Heartbroken”) of what has transpired as of recently. Long story short, 3 years ago I found emails from my boyfriend to random men on CL [Craig's List]. All of these emails were sent while I was out of town. When I caught him, he swore up and down they weren’t from him and he must have been hacked.

Lie. Question: what exactly was he emailing these men? 

2. I didn’t believe him, but I figured it was a phase and perhaps he would grow out of it after being caught.

Cheating is like an iceberg, meaning 9/10ths often remains below water. Setting aside the issue of his sexuality, please get tested for STDs/STIs and only use condoms when having sex with your boyfriend. I'd also ask your boyfriend to get tested and if he tries to weasel his way out of it, that's confirmation he's doing much more than just swapping email recipes with these men. 

3. Last week, I snooped through his phone and found a fake email with messages sent out saying “DL fit vers top” that were sent while he was out of town.

Wow. For a self-identified straight man, he's very well-versed in gay hook-up slang. While I'm a bit out of practice, I believe his moniker means:

DL = down low, aka closeted man in a relationship with a woman seeks discreet hook ups  
vers top = versatile top, meaning he can either penetrate another man or be penetrated but prefers to top/penetrate others

4. I confronted him...

Good for you. 

5. ...and he finally owned up to the fact that he sent them, but insisted that he didn’t have sex with anyone...

Bullsh*t. 

6. ...and instead it was just something that turned him on. I asked why the fake email and he said that “it added to the excitement,” but he kept saying he was not gay.

Ok. Let's use his logic on some other, more g-rated, situations and see if it adds up: 

- I phone a lot of pizza delivery places but never place an order and don't really like pizza. I just get a thrill from calling them. [Bullsh*t]
- I go to a lot of bakeries and just sniff the pastries, but I've never eaten one. [Bullsh*t] 
- I spend my days down at the local pool, wear a lot of bathing suits, but I've never gone swimming. [More bullsh*t]

So his logic doesn't stand up in my opinion. One way to look at your situation more objectively is to pretend your best (female) friend, let's call her Brenda, tells you the following secret about her boyfriend Steve: 

"For the past three years, Steve has been sending random gay guys he found on Craig's List sexual emails from a fake email account that he hid from me. Yesterday I found another email address that he used during business trips, apparently looking for discreet sexual encounters with other men. But he swears he isn't gay. What do you think?" 

What would you say to Brenda? 

7. I asked more questions and probed but he still said he wasn’t gay, and to my surprise (very new info to me after 6 years together) he brought that he was molested as a child and that could be the cause for these feelings of being turned on by men.

Wow. It's incredible how much these guys all follow the same script. When a closeted husband/boyfriend's back is  up against the wall and/or his straight partner is threatening separation/divorce, they all break out the same "I was abused" sob story. As I wrote to Crystal in my last post (see above), if he's lied your entire relationship, you don't have to automatically believe his claims of "abuse made me gay." Moreover there are no credible scientific studies proving abuse results in homosexuality. I reckon it's a smoke screen. 

8. He cried and it’s hard not to believe him, but from what I’m reading this could be something a pathological liar might say.

Correct. 

9. What are your thoughts?

I think he's cheating on you, has been cheating on you for years, and I also think he fabricated this abuse story to distract you while deftly making himself the victim. I also think he's putting you at risk every time you have unprotected sex. 

10. PS - he used to beg for anal. I shut it down everytime (it’s not my thing)...

Red flag. Let's review his logic using this new information: he begs you for anal; you won't perform anal on him because it doesn't interest you; for years he's been email gay men about anal sex; and yet claims he's never cheated on you. In what universe does his logic make sense? 

11. ...but sex with him is hard to come by (maybe once a month). Especially when he’s drunk does he want to do anal but I shut him down and he usually ends up upset.

More red flags. I maintain that a lack of interest in sex with a girlfriend/wife is one of the biggest red flags in gay/straight relationships. Imagine what your sex life will be in 5, 10, or even 15 years.  

12. He also refuses to hold my hand in public because he says he “runs warm” and doesn’t want his hand to get clammy… strange but not sure if these are red flags or not.

What a jerk. Sigh. You deserve so much better Meredith. He certainly ticks many (if not all) of the pink boxes. I'd listen to these podcasts: 

S4 Ep 3: A “Narcissist in Recovery” Gets Real - OurPath
S5 Ep 5: A Former Closeted Narcissist in Recovery Answers Your Questions - OurPath

as I discuss many of the things you've described. First and foremost, please get tested for STDs/STIs and only practice safe sex with your boyfriend. If he follows the closeted boyfriend script, he's going to love bomb you for the next few weeks/months to secure you back in the relationship. This means he's going to try to have sex with you...a lot. It normally doesn't last more than 2-3 months but during this time, please insist he use condoms. No boyfriend is worth risking your health and safety. 

So let's review what you shared. Your boyfriend:  

- Has been emailing gay men for years
- He emails gay men under the pen name "DL fit vers top"
- He lied to you and/or hid these messages for years  
- He messages men asking for sex when traveling and/or away from home
- He doesn't seem interested in sex with you
- He prefers anal, particularly when drunk
- He refuses to hold your hand in public
- He claims childhood abuse is why he emails men, yet also claims he's never had sex with a man

So he is: a liar; potentially a closeted gay men; emotionally unstable; might have a drinking problem (a bit of a supposition on my part); isn't much of a lover; and gets pissy when you won't perform anal sex on him...particularly when he's drunk. Why are you still with this loser?

Last edited by Sean (May 25, 2022 3:46 am)

 

May 24, 2022 11:08 pm  #1962


Re: A gay ex-husband answers your questions

I started listening to the “Narcissist in Recovery” podcast - thank you for that resource! And thank you for your response. I know you’re a stranger and we’ll probably never meet, but a perspective from someone else that might have gone through the same thing is so incredibly helpful, even if you were the one in the wrong.

The emails I found 3 years ago included the same lingo as what I found a week ago, except more detailed. Selfies were included as well as his age, ethnicity… I knew there was no way it wasn’t him, but I was really hoping it was just a phase.

Your “drinking problem” comment resonates with me because he has had legal issues with drinking on more than one occasion. He now smokes pot every night and unfortunately living with someone who needs to rely on a substance wasn’t exactly what I signed up for either.

I guess after 5 years of being with someone, I’m was hoping there could be some way to fix this. I’m in my late 20’s and while everyone around me is getting married, I’m trying to figure out if I should dump my possibly gay-bf. The man has lied to me on multiple occasions, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he lied about being molested, but that’s a pretty sick way to get around the discussion of being gay.

He’s willing to entertain couples therapy, do you think there’s any use for that or would you say it’s probably too late? I love him but I would never forgive myself if 10 or 20 years down the road he came out as gay. I’m not sure with his family’s religious preferences and political preferences that he ever would, but I would hate to be in a marriage where neither of us were happy.

Last edited by Meredith (May 25, 2022 12:01 am)

 

May 25, 2022 3:38 am  #1963


Re: A gay ex-husband answers your questions

Thank you for writing Meredith. In reply: 

1. I started listening to the “Narcissist in Recovery” podcast - thank you for that resource! And thank you for your response. I know you’re a stranger and we’ll probably never meet, but a perspective from someone else that might have gone through the same thing is so incredibly helpful, even if you were the one in the wrong.

Happy to help in some way, although I'm still very sorry he's putting you through all of this. 

2. The emails I found 3 years ago included the same lingo as what I found a week ago, except more detailed. Selfies were included as well as his age, ethnicity… I knew there was no way it wasn’t him, but I was really hoping it was just a phase.

If I may be blunt, you're being rather vague with your answers which is understandable. While I'm not a mental health professional, this may suggest you're still in shock, perhaps lying to yourself, bargaining with yourself, and/or trying to protect him. So let me be very clear with my follow-up questions: 

a. Did he discuss gay sex and gay sexual acts in these emails? 
b. Did these emails clearly have a goal: namely meeting men for sex? 
c. Were the photos naked photos of him in what looked like different sexual positions? 

Only respond if you're ready my friend. 

3. Your “drinking problem” comment resonates with me because he has had legal issues with drinking on more than one occasion. He now smokes pot every night and unfortunately living with someone who needs to rely on a substance wasn’t exactly what I signed up for either.

These are massive red flags my friend and go beyond the issue of his sexuality. I'd recommend you seek professional help for yourself and ask the counsellor about addictions/alcoholism. Things often get much much worse before they get better. 

4. I guess after 5 years of being with someone, I’m was hoping there could be some way to fix this.

Few of us were just ready to walk away from long-term relationships, especially when our partners are clearly suffering. That just means you're a good person in my opinion. If however you are the child of parents who suffered from addictions, personality disorders, or depression, you might with to explore co-dependency with a qualified counsellor. Many straight wives/girlfriends are co-dependents, meaning they are attracted to broken people and make it their life's purpose to "fix" them.  

5. I’m in my late 20’s and while everyone around me is getting married, I’m trying to figure out if I should dump my possibly gay-bf.

There is little doubt in my mind that he's gay-in-denial and likely a burgeoning addict of some kind. In addition to the "Brenda" exercise that I wrote above, namely imaging that your best friend presented you with the same set of facts and responding, another trick to detach from your situation would be to write a "help wanted" ad for a boyfriend or perhaps future husband/father. Once written, ask yourself: "Would I even hire this man if he presented a resumé with the following qualifications? Would I even call a man with this skill set for an interview?": 

- Pot/alcohol problems
- Pathologically dishonest
- Little interest in sex with women
- Potentially gay-in-denial  

Some other straight spouses/partners have also asked themselves: "If my daughter were dating this same man, would I tell her to stay or go?" 

6. The man has lied to me on multiple occasions, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he lied about being molested, but that’s a pretty sick way to get around the discussion of being gay.

Sad, but true. Closeted men are very practiced at diverting attention away from their homosexuality. If he's like me, he started hiding his attraction to boys/men around age 5-6. Whether true or false, it's a myth that childhood sexual abuse makes men gay. We are simply born gay or straight children who are abused. If you take away his excuses, he sounds like a pot-head who isn't really into sex with women. Rather than having sex with you, he spends a lot of his free time messaging and trading naked pics with gay men. None of this makes him husband nor future father material in my humble opinion. My advice: run!  

7. He’s willing to entertain couples therapy...

Good God "entertain?" Were those really his words? This suggests you're pushing for it and he's resisting. He sounds a lot like a man drowning in the deep end who's now refusing to take swimming lessons. In my opinion, what you both need is individual therapy for at least the next 60-90 days. If you dive into couples counselling, then the healthy person (you) just starts drowning in his problems. I'd drop the idea of couples counselling, get yourself a therapist with experience in gay/straight relationships and work on yourself.    

8. Do you think there’s any use for that or would you say it’s probably too late?

Actions speak louder than words. If he were really committed to you, he would run to therapy to save the relationship...not just "entertain" the idea of counselling. But it sounds like he's running to the pot store, his secret email account, and the bottle. Where are you on his list of priorities? I don't want to come across as glib my friend and I'm not mocking your situation. I'm trying to jar you out of the denial/bargaining stage. Ask yourself: would you honestly let this man babysit your niece or nephew? Then perhaps it's time to stop letting him be the caretaker for something much more important: your heart.  

9.I love him....

Why? I'm having a hard time understanding who exactly you love and why.  I know from experience that partners in gay straight relationships are often in love with an imagined person or some fantasy future together. Ask yourself if you're truly in love with the man he is today

10. ...but I would never forgive myself if 10 or 20 years down the road he came out as gay.

Where there's pink smoke, there's fire my friend. You're currently in your 20s, you're not married, and I assume you two don't have any kids. These are supposed to be the most wonderful, romantic, and care-free days of your life. I honestly don't see how this relationship will improve over the coming years. Past behaviour is the best predictor of future behaviour, so imagine yourself coming back here 10 years later with two kids and a mortgage sharing: "I caught him sexting men and swapping d*ck pics...AGAIN!"  

11. I’m not sure with his family’s religious preferences and political preferences that he ever would, but I would hate to be in a marriage where neither of us were happy.

Excellent point. You have everything to lose by staying and everything to gain by walking away. There are plenty of straight, sober men who would love to have sex with you. Go find that guy and marry him. Dump this loser. 

Be well! 

Last edited by Sean (May 25, 2022 3:45 am)

 

May 27, 2022 4:09 pm  #1964


Re: A gay ex-husband answers your questions

Sean wrote:

Wow. It's incredible how much these guys all follow the same script. When a closeted husband/boyfriend's back is  up against the wall and/or his straight partner is threatening separation/divorce, they all break out the same "I was abused" sob story. As I wrote to Crystal in my last post (see above), if he's lied your entire relationship, you don't have to automatically believe his claims of "abuse made me gay." Moreover there are no credible scientific studies proving abuse results in

Sean this is interesting that a lot follow this script of molestation. Why do you think that is?  What is logic in the connection of molestation and being gay?

 

May 29, 2022 3:27 pm  #1965


Re: A gay ex-husband answers your questions

Thank you for writing Crystal. In reply: 

1. Sean this is interesting that a lot [of closeted gay husbands] follow this script of molestation [made him gay].

Many cite the statistic that 1 in 6 males (or 16.7%) are sexually abused before the age of 18. If this statistic is correct, then approximately 83.4% of males are not victims of sexual abuse. Strangely, 100% of the closeted husbands described here claim childhood abuse as the cause of cheating with men and/or watching gay porn. I maintain there are two possibilities: 

Option 1: He's telling the truth about childhood sexual abuse. 
Option 2: He's lying about childhood sexual abuse. 
 
As I shared in two recent podcasts with "Our Path", I urge straight spouses to remain calm when their husbands claim a history of sexual abuse. And by "calm" I mean: remaining cautiously objective about his claims of childhood abuse as it could be a distraction, particularly if she recently brought up separation/divorce; allowing her husband to find a qualified therapist (not a couples' therapist) to do the work to heal from such trauma; and continuing to make herself and her happiness a priority.  So what's my point? Whether real or fabricated, a closeted husband's claims of childhood sexual abuse should not distract nor delay dealing with the main issues they face, namely: his total lack of interest in sex with his wife, often from the beginning of the relationship; cheating with men...often for years; and his inability to be honest with his wife about these issues. Put bluntly, it's a bit of a stretch to think that once he has healed from these abuse issues, he'll suddenly and miraculously transform into a heterosexual, horny prince charming. The reality is a bit more grainy: he's vague about the abuse probably because he's lying or exaggerating; refuses to attend individual therapy; insists on couples' therapy then, yet again, puts the onus on his long-suffering wife to fix him; and continues with the gay porn and cheating with men.  

2. Why do you think that is? 

I personally believe that "I'm gay because I was [allegedly] abused..." is a throwback to faith-based reparative/conversion therapy. If what I've read about conversion therapy is correct, claiming abuse made me gay is one of many debunked claims. There are others: 

- I'm gay because my father was (absent/distant/never there)...
- I'm gay because my mother was overbearing...

There are probably more. I personally believe that when the straight spouse is seriously considering separation/divorce, her closeted husband panics and claims "I'm having sex with men because I was molested as a child." And I believe he does this because he's not yet ready to accept that he was born gay.   

3. What is logic in the connection of molestation and being gay?

I have no idea so I reached out to my friend and esteemed psychotherapist Dr. Joe Kort to ask that same question. Joe stated unequivocally that there is no proven link between childhood abuse and sexual orientation. In brief, claims of "abuse made me gay" are bullsh*t. 

I hope I've answered your questions. Be well! 

Last edited by Sean (May 30, 2022 12:59 am)

 

June 6, 2022 7:35 am  #1966


Re: A gay ex-husband answers your questions

If anyone wants to see just how practiced, charming, and disarming a closeted husband can be when confronted about his sexuality, look no further than reality TV personality Todd Chrisley. This interview from 2016 is a master class in how to obfuscate about your homosexuality: 

https://youtu.be/isVwUJxTJYQ

Todd certainly sets off my gaydar and 100% of the gay men I've asked also say, "Gay!" So what are the classic signs a husband is gay-in-denial? Here is a brief checklist: 

1. Bullied in school for being "gay."
2. Discloses a "same sex attraction" or high school boyfriend but claims "that's all over now." 
3. Little to no interest in sex with his wife nor any other women.
4. Attaches a lot of conditions to sex with his wife (lights off, only certain positions, you have to shower, no kissing etc). 
5. Acts very straight and sexual when performing for others but once "off-stage" little to no signs of affection towards his wife. 
5. Exclusively gay porn, chat history, or a history of cheating with men. 
6. If he is preparing to cheat or is actively cheating with men, the telltale signs are: sudden weight loss + obsessive interest in physical fitness and a new look (glasses, clothes, underwear, haircut). 
7. He'll use but also hide things like condoms, Viagra, and sex toys from his wife. And why? Because he's using them to cheat, while at the same time giving his wife a multitude of excuses not to have sex with her.  

With regards to cheating with men, the closeted husband who cheats will typically stop having sex with his wife, for several reasons: first, he's afraid of giving her an STD/STI; second, he can't ask to use condoms without arousing her suspicions; and third, once he's had sex with a man he's incapable of having sex with his wife. 

If anyone has questions for a gay ex-husband, feel free to post below. Be well! 

Last edited by Sean (June 6, 2022 7:36 am)

 

June 29, 2022 5:19 am  #1967


Re: A gay ex-husband answers your questions

Sean, I have a question: what goes through their minds when they sit there and lie to your face? Even when I’m making it all “super safe” for  him?  Is that the problem- nothing can feel safe? We have a 30 year marriage, a lot of respect (I can see you rolling your eyes, but yes - in all the other channels of our relationship we do well, are well-matched) and he knows I’ll protect him, because I’ve been keeping his secrets for five years now.) But he still is wedded to preposterous stories (it was an accident he got out of the taxi on 52nd St between 9th and 10th at 1:15am, no idea gay bars around…). And that makes it very hard to manage all this to a healthy place. He just won’t budge,  Whst do you think?

 

June 30, 2022 4:15 pm  #1968


Re: A gay ex-husband answers your questions

Thank you for writing Rose. I am responding from a new profile as I've recently upgraded to a new computer, hence the name Sean01. In reply to your message/post: 

1. Sean, I have a question: what goes through their minds when they sit there and lie to your face? Even when I’m making it all “super safe” for  him?  Is that the problem- nothing can feel safe?

If anyone is reading your questions for the first time, I seem to recall that your husband of 30 years recently came out as gay. While I'm not in his head, nor am I a mental health professional, I'm happy to share my experience as a gay ex-husband. If your husband's journey in any way resembles mine, he has likely been hiding and lying about his sexuality from about age 5 or 6. It's not that we're bad people per se it's just that we're often totally incapable of being honest about our homosexuality. 

2. We have a 30 year marriage, a lot of respect (I can see you rolling your eyes, but yes - in all the other channels of our relationship we do well, are well-matched)...

I've read this a lot over the years and it goes something like this: "I love my husband and he's my best friend." Then she provides a grocery list of lying, sexual neglect, emotional abuse, and (often) cheating. 

3. ...and he knows I’ll protect him, because I’ve been keeping his secrets for five years now.) But he still is wedded to preposterous stories (it was an accident he got out of the taxi on 52nd St between 9th and 10th at 1:15am, no idea gay bars around…).

If you listen to my recent podcast interviews with "Our Path", I do my best to debunk the bullsh*t excuses like: 

- Well I just found myself down at the gay sauna. (Truth: after doing 2 hours of internet research then walking by the sauna 15 times before entering.)
- Two men attacked me down at the gay cruising park. (Truth: I hung around the park for 2 hours, trolling for sex.)
- It (sex with another man) just happened. (Truth: I created a Grindr profile, took 15 naked photos, messaged at least 30+ guys, and after 10 days set up a sex date.)

My opinion: your husband can't stop lying to you because he's lied to himself, you, and to others his entire life. Truth and authenticity are two languages he simply doesn't understand and will never understand while still married to you. 

4. And that makes it very hard to manage all this to a healthy place. He just won’t budge,  What do you think?

I think you're currently in a mixed orientation marriage (or "MOM") and, rather than moving to a point of better communication and greater honesty, your husband is redoubling his efforts to hide his gay sexual exploits from you. And why? He probably fears that if you found out to what extent he's leading a parallel gay life, you'll likely leave him. If you read Dr. Alan Downs book "The Velvet Rage" I believe the author refers to this stage of the coming out process as "splitting" meaning your husband is one man at the dinner table and then a completely different person when cruising gay bars downtown at 1:00 a.m. 

I'm very sorry you and your family are going through this. I seem to recall your son was really suffering. How is he? Thinking of you and your family my friend. Be well. 

Last edited by Sean01 (June 30, 2022 11:45 pm)

 

July 2, 2022 6:14 am  #1969


Re: A gay ex-husband answers your questions

Sean, thank you for remembering about Charlie. I think he’s in a little bit of a better place, and a lot of what looked like psychosis was likely just too much pot. He still has a ways to go, but I think we found the right therapist - at least Charlie talks to him, maybe willing to trust a tiny bit. I think about your “get the kids out of the burning house” a lot, and I agree that it will help - but it needs to be stategic in this case, have to stabilize the exit route before we can go.
  You are also right about the splitting. I saw my husband once from behind, sitting with some of my friends, next to an attractive, out, gay man. My husband’s entire affect was different. More confident, actually. 
    My daughter seems to be coping with all of this more adaptively - her passion? Acting. 
  I also think about your “shouting at the deaf” comment. Yup. Every morning for years! Trying to treat him “fairly” to get him to “admit” there is a healthier path and help me get everyone on it. Ain’t happening, Have to do it myself. So infuriating but oh well. The word that keeps going through my head is that he’s “corrupt” — not meaning that same sex attraction is wrong in any way — but like a corrupted computer file or disk, he just isn’t going to work right. The lack of integrity will continue until he’s forced to face himself; I guess without me as a buttress. 
   The good news is that I do find that I like myself, and maybe have even greater self awareness from having to cope. The bad news is that it is still going to be hard for a while. I still have to play a part in a tale told by an (idiot?) other. For about two months. Looking at September 1st if my son is in an ok place for a transition - and I’m pretty confident that he will be, and that it will help, not hurt. Fingers crossed.  For the umpteenth time, thank you for being here. It’s a help and this stuff is hard!
   Rose

Last edited by RoseColoredGlasses (July 2, 2022 6:16 am)

 

July 2, 2022 12:45 pm  #1970


Re: A gay ex-husband answers your questions

Thank you for writing Rose. In reply: 

1. Sean, thank you for remembering about Charlie. I think he’s in a little bit of a better place, and a lot of what looked like psychosis was likely just too much pot. He still has a ways to go, but I think we found the right therapist - at least Charlie talks to him, maybe willing to trust a tiny bit.

I'm glad he's doing better. 

2. I think about your “get the kids out of the burning house” a lot, and I agree that it will help - but it needs to be strategic in this case, have to stabilize the exit route before we can go.

Understood. But I wouldn't wait years to make a change. Living in dad's closet is a very deep, dark place for innocent kids. 

3. You are also right about the splitting. I saw my husband once from behind, sitting with some of my friends, next to an attractive, out, gay man. My husband’s entire affect was different. More confident, actually. 
   
Perhaps because he was truly himself in that moment. 

4. My daughter seems to be coping with all of this more adaptively - her passion? Acting. 

Tech-savvy kids almost always know dad's gay. Have you discussed all of this with them?  

5. I also think about your “shouting at the deaf” comment. Yup. Every morning for years! Trying to treat him “fairly” to get him to “admit” there is a healthier path and help me get everyone on it. Ain’t happening, Have to do it myself. So infuriating but oh well. 

The majority of mixed orientation marriages (or MOMs) fail. I've been posting here for years and there always comes a point when the straight spouse needs to get off his pink merry-go-round to save her own sanity. 

6. The word that keeps going through my head is that he’s “corrupt” — not meaning that same sex attraction is wrong in any way — but like a corrupted computer file or disk, he just isn’t going to work right. The lack of integrity will continue until he’s forced to face himself; I guess without me as a buttress. 
   
I re-learned honesty and only started to rebuild my integrity after separation/divorce. I'm not sure if I'd call closeted husbands "corrupt" as this has a negative ring to it. I've often described it more along the lines of learning a new language...or perhaps a new emotional language. Emotionally, I reckon you're speaking completely different languages, as if you were speaking English to him and he's responding in French. Yes the two languages are close to each other and share a similar alphabet, however, they are still completely different. You will eventually come to the conclusion that your husband will never speak the same emotional language as you. It's not that he's a bad person or didn't try hard enough. It's just that he can't. He needs to communicate with other gay men who understand him...without you.       

7. The good news is that I do find that I like myself, and maybe have even greater self awareness from having to cope. The bad news is that it is still going to be hard for a while. I still have to play a part in a tale told by an (idiot?) other.

It's hard, I know.

8. For about two months. Looking at September 1st if my son is in an ok place for a transition - and I’m pretty confident that he will be, and that it will help, not hurt. Fingers crossed. 

Interesting. What's going to happen in September? Please keep us posted. 

9. For the umpteenth time, thank you for being here. It’s a help and this stuff is hard!

Thank you for sharing Rose. Please keep coming back. 

 

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