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Jk,
While your husband may be trying to do right by you with regards to said large chunk of retirement money, it's worth noting that you are, in fact, entitled to a full 50% of any retirement savings that was accumulated during the marriage. He's not doing you any favors - it's what you're legally entitled to.
Kel
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JK, I hope you both end at peace. My GIDEH was in denial and still is. He left quickly and quietly to maintain his cover. Thank goodness we are older with grown children, so we do not have to speak. Have had no contact with him for ten months now. It's not easy but it's far more peaceful than many.
Wishing you well and good luck. Hoping he stays agreeable and reasonable.