Thank you all for posting! Elle, the music, white noise is a great idea. I will try that. I have always enjoyed the silence, used it as a time to pray, think. Maybe I need a bit of distraction.


"But taking away 50% of my time with my children?  I never signed up for that.  She will never be forgiven for that.  Never."  Blue Bear

This!!  I know I will have to forgive in order to heal; but this, what he has done to our family. He's has stripped me of my death-do-us-part, my chance of a 50th wedding anniversary, he has taken 22 years and replaced them with lies; but taking my kids from me (and taking me from them) half the time due to his lies is just the worst. On top of that, I truely believe the 14 year-old has gotten TGT figured out. She asked him if he's gay and he lied. No,  he says it is not a lie. He isn't gay; he has same-sex attraction. The man watches gay porn, has gone to Adult bookstores and cinemas and watched gay porn next to other in-denial men and only "briefly" touched other men on 1 occasion, er, 2 occasions, er, 3 occassions, er, whatever. It's all word salad with this man. So now, I believe, the 14 year-old is shoved into his closet as well. She is now being lied to and gaslit. I have finally found a therapist for her in hopes that we can work through this mess.

Lies! One of the most destructive forces in the world. I have my kiddos with me until Wednesday; so I am great right now. Come Wednesday evening though... agonizing!
 

Myexodus,

I used to be so depressed when the kids were with her..then they were back...then I they had to leave again.

It gets better.   The parenting schedule religiously followed helps as the kids get used to it. 

I slowly but surely filled my time without them.. you see some if that yourself as you go for walks.

It does get better.