It can be shocking how fast some of our spouses can just move on. I think it illustrates how self-centered they can become. As MJM said, there's no reason for you not to start educating yourself on the finer details of separation, child support, access, etc. in your jurisdiction.

I would avoid dating in the near term. I think you are correct in that it's just a way for her to remove whatever tinge of guilt she might have. Also consider that it could be used against you, a bit of a character smear when it comes time to talk about future arrangements for the kids. You also want to wait until you are emotionally ready for possible new relationships and all that entails. Generally you want the current situation placed in your past and to have spent a little time getting comfortable with yourself again. Emotional baggage and all that.

Hang in there. Things are probably going to be a bit uphill for a bit, but it's surmountable.

Daryl wrote:

It can be shocking how fast some of our spouses can just move on. I think it illustrates how self-centered they can become. As MJM said, there's no reason for you not to start educating yourself on the finer details of separation, child support, access, etc. in your jurisdiction.

I would avoid dating in the near term. I think you are correct in that it's just a way for her to remove whatever tinge of guilt she might have. Also consider that it could be used against you, a bit of a character smear when it comes time to talk about future arrangements for the kids. You also want to wait until you are emotionally ready for possible new relationships and all that entails. Generally you want the current situation placed in your past and to have spent a little time getting comfortable with yourself again. Emotional baggage and all that.

Hang in there. Things are probably going to be a bit uphill for a bit, but it's surmountable.

Absolutely. I went on one coffee date and realized im not ready to get back out there. I have looked into some legal standing in my state. And they want to pretend marriage is all about love. pfttt. 
 

longwayhome wrote:

Fury, one day at a time. We learn quickly how hurtful this situation is on our kids. As a result, we often will not share those thoughts because you will soon come to the realization you don’t want your child to carry that type of heavy feeling pain.

Yes, they chose to disregard their family, the kids, in time, I believe, on a deep level, will all come to that realization as they age.

Wouldn’t you wonder? If this had happened to your parents? I think their own thoughts that they will sit with, is enough. The straight parent, we mostly try to minimize the kid’s hurt.

You won’t be able or want to add that to your child’s awareness of their life.

I think my son will grow up thinking its normal for parents to split up. My sister split up with her bf and their daughter was about the age my son is now.(their daughter is close to  4 1/2). Im sure in time my want to speak the truth will fade and i will try to save his feeling. but right now. not a good time. But my son is  too young to understand so time will tell. 
 

So as mentioned my wife currently lives with me. She has gotten her home. But i tell her the reason im angry about all of this is because i feel she is being disrespectful going out 4 nights a week While im home with our son. We're not talking about going out at 9pm. We're talking leaving at 4-5pm and not coming back until late hours after midnight.  Throwing her new relationship more or less in my face. or so i feel that way at least.  She is adamant it is not 4 nights a week. 
She claims she doesnt feel this is disrespectful, what do you all think?  
This all started when i made the comment about coming with us to the park "mommy can come with us unless she has something better to do". Admittedly. i didn't need to add that.   

  
My apologies. things keep going up and down up and down. WHen i feel im moving forward, things keep pulling me back.

Daryl wrote:

In my opinion, it is disrespectful but you won't get that admission from her. As long as you're living under the same roof, I feel there needs to be some ground rules to help keep things calm. I've read numerous examples of spouses who entered a 'gay adolescence' upon exiting their closet.

It can be hard but try to keep the moral high ground. You might want to keep notes on her words and actions in case it becomes an important factor in a judgement on custody and access.

Keep a close eye on your son. You don't want him to start thinking that he did something that makes his mom not want to be around. Kids are perceptive but lack the experience to see that it's not really about them.

 

I need to create a spreadsheet for the dates she is going out. But she hasnt done anything that might suggest bad in regards to custody. Other than going out night after night. To him its whatever since alot of the time its after he goes to sleep. I think the big one is meeting the woman too early. But again i dont think the court would have an opinion on that. I could be wrong of course. Its not like ive done this before heh.