Straight Spouse Network Open Forum
This Open Forum is funded and administered by the Straight Spouse Network (SSN), a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to straight spouses and partners who have discovered that their spouse/partner isn’t straight. Your donations allow us to provide important support and resources that straight spouses can't find anywhere else. Learn more >>>

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This Open Forum is funded and administered by the Straight Spouse Network (SSN), a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to straight spouses and partners who have discovered that their spouse/partner isn’t straight. The results from SSN’s Annual Summer Donation Drive are in! Together with your help, SSN raised $16,381 during our annual Summer Donation Drive! That’s 109% of our goal! Learn more about how the funds will be utilized.

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Straight Spouse Network Open Forum

This Open Forum is funded and administered by the Straight Spouse Network (SSN), a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to straight spouses and partners who have discovered that their spouse/partner isn’t straight. Your donations allow us to provide important support and resources that straight spouses can't find anywhere else.


Happy New Year, Friends!

Our year-end fundraising campaign is officially complete and with your generous help we raised $13,813 to serve straight spouses in need. From all of us at SSN, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Your donations allow us to provide important support and resources that straight spouses can't find anywhere else.

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April 15, 2021 4:47 pm  #11


Re: I feel helpless

Rob wrote:

John doe,

And therein lies the horribleness and moral wrong of TGT...that these.spouses knew it... but in the eyes of the law are entitled.

Just remember she is entitled to half the debt also.

For me my GX was so horrible.its worth every penny to be away from her.

Move on with your life. God knows and sees .

Thanks- I'm doing my best. One day at a time. Sometimes... it's just one hour at a time. 
 

 

April 15, 2021 5:46 pm  #12


Re: I feel helpless

John Doe,

I'm so sorry you've found yourself here. I was in your shoes last August when I discovered my husband of 12 year's secret. He denied being gay for a brief moment (called himself curious and then bisexual) and then admitted he's always known he was gay and wanted a divorce.

Those first few days/weeks were filled with such intense emotion and I remember being panicked, feeling lost and hopeless, and having no idea where to turn, but it does get easier. There is a wealth of wisdom and support here on this board, and it definitely helps to know that you're not alone.

My only advice would be to focus on yourself. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself permission to feel all the feels. My initial instinct was to protect, support and help heal my poor struggling husband, but I quickly realized that was wasted energy. He had already moved on and was happily cruising the internet and apps for his next relationship.

Sending big virtual hugs. Be well.

 

April 15, 2021 5:58 pm  #13


Re: I feel helpless

Hi John, hang in there, moment by moment - this is really awful shockingly painful news you are getting now.  It is a while ago for me now but I do remember it was really bad, and I am grateful that I am free of my ex.  

That's the silver lining to the black cloud - as the rose coloured glasses fall away from your eyes and you see your wife as she really is you are being liberated from a relationship to someone who has been using you.

and it's more.  once you stop believing her lies about you you regain your sense of yourself.

be kind to yourself, look after yourself well - you are going through a rough time.  

wishing you all the best, Lily
 

 

April 15, 2021 5:59 pm  #14


Re: I feel helpless

EmpathyStarved wrote:

John Doe,

I'm so sorry you've found yourself here. I was in your shoes last August when I discovered my husband of 12 year's secret. He denied being gay for a brief moment (called himself curious and then bisexual) and then admitted he's always known he was gay and wanted a divorce.

Those first few days/weeks were filled with such intense emotion and I remember being panicked, feeling lost and hopeless, and having no idea where to turn, but it does get easier. There is a wealth of wisdom and support here on this board, and it definitely helps to know that you're not alone.

My only advice would be to focus on yourself. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself permission to feel all the feels. My initial instinct was to protect, support and help heal my poor struggling husband, but I quickly realized that was wasted energy. He had already moved on and was happily cruising the internet and apps for his next relationship.

Sending big virtual hugs. Be well.

Thanks-

This support group/forum has helped immensely. I really felt alone at first- but it helped to read the stories of others here that were/are in the same boat. Enrolling in therapy has also been a tremendous help.
 

Last edited by John Doe (April 15, 2021 5:59 pm)

     Thread Starter
 

April 15, 2021 6:02 pm  #15


Re: I feel helpless

lily wrote:

Hi John, hang in there, moment by moment - this is really awful shockingly painful news you are getting now.  It is a while ago for me now but I do remember it was really bad, and I am grateful that I am free of my ex.  

That's the silver lining to the black cloud - as the rose coloured glasses fall away from your eyes and you see your wife as she really is you are being liberated from a relationship to someone who has been using you.

and it's more.  once you stop believing her lies about you you regain your sense of yourself.

be kind to yourself, look after yourself well - you are going through a rough time.  


wishing you all the best, Lily
 

Thanks- It's been a rough road the last few weeks. The road to recovery will be long, but I'll make it.

Last edited by John Doe (April 15, 2021 6:03 pm)

     Thread Starter
 

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