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  •  » Changing his looks....coming out?

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    January 30, 2021 10:26 pm  #1

    blindone
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    Changing his looks....coming out?

    My (unconfirmed/in denial) gay EX says his affair w/a man (men, actually, but he's only admitted to one man so far) was experimentation (he was 55 at the time).  It's been since June that we split up and since August that he finally owned up to the affair.  He says his whole life he's snuggled w/gender roles, but says he's not gay. It's interesting, he's taking up new hobbies (juggling...?) and he's changing his looks a bit.  He shaved his goatee off after 20 years.  He will turn 60 next week so I'm wondering if it's a mix of things or if this might be something on his journey to becoming a new person?  Any experience w/the coming out process or thoughts? Thank you - it's a journey.  Therapy every single week since June.  The worst holiday season of my life.  Looking forward to brighter days. Eventually.

     

    January 31, 2021 7:04 am  #2

    Abby
    Member

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    Re: Changing his looks....coming out?

    Once the cat is out of the bag it's not going to go back in. Those changes are for his new identity, to hang out with new friends who just happen to all be gay. Being 60 in the gay community does not make one desirable so my ex also tried/tries to dress as if he was/is half his age. Being a regular at the gym can only do so much though and unless they have money to attract younger men with parties, trips and gifts they are pretty much going to end up with other 60 year olds.

    Be glad he's your ex.

     

    Try Gardening. It'll keep you grounded.
     

     

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